LAST POETRY NITE

Yesterday was the last poetry nite for this year i.e. Kwani Open Mic that happens every first Tuesday of every month at Club Soundd. I am quite impressed with the way the literary street is growing in Kenya because i am a fan of literature and the written word. I however feel nothing for visual (that's why i watch my movies with sub-titles) yes i just got busted! Live with it. I would much rather read than listen and watch. The greatest movies i like are those with written creativity not necessarily the action. A movie/series maybe badly acted but well written, i will still love it.Take for example Entourage, i do not think the actors are brilliant but the series has serious punchlines (www.arigoldquotes.com).

 

Anyway i was saying, i attended the last open mic which was sort of a competition. The presentations were well better than any other time i have been there. The worst thing about this poetry nite, is that it is free style. I read a bit about poems and writing them and i have realized i may never be able to write a poem until i commit myself to studying how a poem should be written. And yes it is not easy.

 

One of the sites that offers reprieve is www.poetrymagic.co.uk, i find it quite resourceful. Most of those guys up there on stage, have probably never heard the word Etymology. Yet the beauty of literature is destroyed when language is used languidly without proper understanding the usage and meaning of the words.

 

However, it is a good starting point. I believe that the literary street will grow. I have with me a copy of Collections of East Africa poems published circa 1973, the poetry is beautiful. I was talking to my friend who did a degree in Literature, the saddest thing is she is now a banker and i wondered is it fair enough for our state to invest in such degrees if nobody uses them? Why do people study literature in Kenya? 

 

By the numbers that show up every other month for Kwani Open Mic shows that there is indeed a hunger for Literature in Kenya, the number of books on sale i am sure is doing well. I am just really hoping  somebody finds it in himself/herself to invest in this field.

 

 

 

 

WOMEN MENTORING WOMEN (WMW) WALK

Learn more about it here;

 

http://vitalvoicesonline.org.

 

http://storymojaafrica.co.ke/main/2008/11/women-mentoring-women-walk-2/

 

http://vitalvoicesonline.org/blog/2008/11/29/kenya-trip-day-2-women-mentoring-women/

I have just realized that i attend some events that are bloggable but i do not blog about them.

 

So on Saturday, 29th November 2008 about 200 (give or take 100) of about the ages 20-60 (again give or take), i am not very good with details gathered at the Kenya Wildlife Service for a short walk at the Nairobi Nature Walk.Each mentee was paired up with a mentor. There was a shortage of mentors though so many ended up with 2 or 3 mentees. I am really hoping that more women will volunteer to be mentors as it is clearly there a lot of young girls willing to be mentored.

 

This is a walk we are told happened in about 7-8 countries at the same day (well not time). The walk is an idea developed by Geraldine Laybourne who incorporated mentoring into her busy schedule by inviting young women to join her on her daily walks through Central Park,. [Source]

 

A woman from the ages 21-30 was considered a mentee (well apart from Hope Mwinzi the chairperson of the Young Women and Business Professional Club) and beyond that age a mentor (it didn't work, a lot of these women turned up as mentors).

 

What i realized was there are thousands of people who want to be mentored and so for those of you that are business minded, this is an area you can tap in.I learnt a lot from my mentor, luckily she happened to be in the same field that i am in and we jelled really easily. She was a natural leader and gave me a lot of insights that could have taken 5 books to deliver all in two hours. Until then i had not realized the power of mentorship or having someone older and wiser talk to you about stuff that you sweat on. She could easily have said ":ooh shut, what is it that you are you are worried about?", she didn't. She listened, asked questions and when i was done talking, she gave me 5 alternatives to what i thought was an issue.

 

Muthoni Garland (www.storymojaafrica.co.ke ) and Nyokabi Njuguna (http://www.marketingstrategies.co.ke) are two women with horse power. They took the event, made it a reality and even got us a few freebies. I don't know what can give someone that kind of energy .

 

Overall, it was a really great event and i look forward to having it next year.

When i lost my muse

I had lost the inspiration

For what was my passion,

They said; smoke a joint

I still didn't get the point

Said a prayer

But still didn't get there

 

At the Sunday salon

Where I lay forlorn

Sat with the noveau poets

Couldn't add a word to the sonnet

 

Then you came along

And I wrote a song

My muse was back

And only you I could thank

 

you would like to punch these people on the back of their head

The slow walker who occupies most of the street

 

Have you ever been like really in a hurry to get to wherever it is is you are going then a guy moves slowly to every side that you are trying to pass through. Ok, maybe i am exagerrating, but the point is, in the Nairobi streets, you walk in a huff like you are going somewhere because even the petty thieves mistake slow walk for being new in town.

 

Exceptions

Newly in love..there is something about love that makes you slow in everything, you talk, move, walk more slowly daydreaming about what he/she said in the morning.

 

You are carrying a very heavy load or rather you are walking slowly because the weight on your shoulders is just too much to bear. That could include you have just been fired, your newly in love partner just walked out on you or rather those things that make life rather depressing. But all the same try to let people pass or you could find a new reason to get yourself off the floor.

 

Ngoto 1-to wake them up

 

The drunkard

Though i believe viceroy solves all gastro intestinal problems (how did i write that?), and Kafai agrees with me, i cannot stand the drunkard. Drunkards piss me off because sometimes they piss on themselves, hit on everyone jointly and severally, talk foul, make the toilet unihabitable with vomits and generally behave badly.

Exceptions

You are paid to entertain. How can you perform in Liddos and be sober?

Everybody is drunk and throwing up! It's a drink and throw up party.

 

Ngoto 5

your Ex

 

Not all your exes should be punched just the one in this scenario

You walk into the club with a guy you are a quarter feeling, then you met the Ex smashed kama kawaida. He starts calling you wifey as he proceeds to touch you and ignoring the date you have come with (looking sideways to see how many people are judging me).

 

Add to the list is this random guy who you know and acts all sloppy in love when you meet in the club **SMH***.

 

Ngoto 10

 

The Thika Road Matatu Driver

Either these guys are fucking geniuses or aboslute retards. Sometimes i actually enjoying watching these guys drive, it's like the speed movie only this time there are real humans in the matatus not movie stars. The reason i think of some ingenuity in there is coz the situations those guys pull bana. All the same they still get punched for exposing us to regular heart beating.

Mental note, if you are a novice on Thika Road, put aside money for dents et al.

 

Ngoto 20

 

 

INTRODUCING....

only in Nairobbery

Kirinyaga Road

 

My pal lost his light in traffic. Another lost a windscreen. The other one lost a wheel cap..You get the drift....every other peson loses a part of their car every other day.

 

So what do you do?

 

You walk/drive to Kirinyaga road to look for the missing spare part.

 

The folks of Kirinyaga road sell the part that was orignially yours only at a lower price

 

No defence
Cries that said spare part belongs to you is met with blank stares They could ask "Do you want the spare part or not?"

 

 

Guest Writers

If you would like to guest write on this blog please email me girlinthemeadow@gmail.com.

 

Generally

You have to be a girl

 

With an interesting life (or ability to turn a mundane life to an interesting one)

 

And fresh like the woods.

Diaries would be appreciated.

 

 

ANOTHER MONDAY ANOTHER WEEK

HuH, is it just me ama this year is flying. I am trying to account for all the things i should have done and really some of them are not still done.

 

1. Getting A driving license

 

I once read Tony Mochama's articles that though he owned a car, he couldn't care to drive it. I don't know how you attend two driving schools and still not get a licence. That it is me. I have this weird thing going on in my head that must have emanated from Nonini's

"ushaichotwa na gari"  . Anyway my goal is to get a licence within the next 3 months, so help me God and if next year this goal shows up, shoot me please.

2. Lose at least 5kgs

As Gishungwa would say "I have been jogging daily since January, mentally that is" Good intentions! good intentions!. Anyway, at least sometimes i jog, just not seriously.

 

3. Read my books

I have a goal to read a book every week. I developed a love for literature and classics but somehow i get derailed by a books with blonde names like Bombshell. How can you resist a book called Bombshell? Well it eats into the time i should have read my classic. But how do you look at the shelf see a book called Bombshell and walk away to pick The Great Gasby?

 

4. Make chapattis

This has been in my to do lists for 3 years now, it is time it got crossed.

 

But there are good things i have learnt to do

 

Learning how to save

Saving in a consumer world is HARD. Only after you have had a pay vacuum do you realize the need to save for a rainy day. Heck, saving is important.

 

Putting my interests before others

The real christians may not agree, but you have to love yourself to love others. I used to waste a lot of energy on other people's problems. Now, i have realized other people's problems are not my business and i do not have to solve them UNLESS i have the competency and of course if we are good friends. I tend to solve my own problems without burdening others, i should also resist being burdened.

 

Achieving my CPS

Going back to school is not easy but somehow i went to school, missed half the classes and passed the exams.

 

THE UB40 WILL BE IN TOWN SOON. That is something to look forward to.

 

Simple Pleasures

I decided to visit my home town this weekend to visit a few relations. Obviously, it is something that shocked everyone because such visits are things i hardly do. All the same i can confirm that life in Nairobi is too hectic and once in a while (may i say every once in a while) one should drop everything and head to a place that is quiet and life is not as fast.

 

There is one thing you notice; in Nairobi everything is so fast. There is one way to pick out a person who has lived in Nairobi, the desire to have everything done as fast as it can be done. Another thing is Nairobian chics tend to hang on to their handbags because life really depends on it. Ask me, the last time i lost my handbag, i slept at a disgruntled neighbour's house. Who else checks on their phones 24-7, of course a Nairobian. I made a conscious decision to lose the habit of being obsessively addicted to my phone to the extent that i can stay without it for 2 days without going into a panic attack, after all there is really nothing that can't wait and on top of that there is hardly anyone who just knows me that if they were in trouble and didn't reach me, they would be done. I now switch off my phone when i sleep ok that was because certain idiots call at 2p.m and start storos ati coz Michael Joseph's calls run to Ksh. 2.50 after midnight clearly!

 

So i really enjoyed time off the town. You walk into the town, can count the number of cars and those on mobile phones. People stop to gossip. Village life is funny though, everybody's business is everybody's business, who got married, who got drunk and peed on the road, who died, who bought a new car, whose daughter is pregnant he he he. Though i love technology, i hate the overload that comes with it.

 

So somebody got ill and i decided to take them to the general hospital because i love free things. There was quite a line. So i went paid for the card and while i was going to get my number to queue a certain lady calls me and tells me not to form the queue they are going to sort me out. I was convinced angels are everywhere though i knew it must be she knows someone of my relations which is not so evidently hard to tell.

Then i decided to take said person to have shoes polished. The shoeshiner goes like you are from the family of so and so..i am like yeah. Ooh glorious life, in Nairobi nobody recognizes me you know. Until he goes like " i always know my relatives" and then proceeded to give me our long history or relations of course it got lost somewhere in the your grandmother was....All the same my relative still charged me for said service, i thought such things should be free for relatives!

 

NOKLA

Just when you thought the Chinese guys were through, i found with my friend a certain kind of phone by name NOKLA. These guys yaani should win awards if for nothing else cheap imitation. Anyway somebody came from China and brought me a phone with the following things Tv, MPeg 4, dual sim, camera.I love China me.

 

Confession

I have had really nothing to write on my blog because for a very long time, the blog ceased to be mine. So i read this post and decided to write here every other 3 days because it is really my blog and i started it to offload my thinking until it became hard to write because of you know "political incorrectness" figuratively and literally. Now i will just write because i like to do it.

--


"We could learn a lot from crayons; some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, while others bright, some have weird names, but they all have learned to live together in the same box."

BLOG ACTION DAY

October 15 is Blog Action Day and this year's theme is Poverty.

 

What to do to eliminate poverty must be the thing that taxes many people (ooh and earns them a lot of cash:) ).  This is what i have always thought;

 

1. Education;- I cannot say enough about this. An educated populance will seek to get themselves out of poverty. Not necessarily by getting a job but by looking for ways to better their life. Education gives people ideas. What you can do today;

 

When is the last time you donated books, library materials, contributed to the building a classroom in a local area? Think about it.

 

2. Health;- A person in good health cannot be a poor one. Invest in more available hospitals, medicines, research....A diseased nation is surely a poor one. Contribute to building a local dispensary or something.

 

 

3. Food;- We cannot live without food. The more persons are encouraged to plant more food, the more healthier we are hence in a way elminating poverty. Uprooting all those non performing foreign exchange earners (coffee, tea, pyrethrum) and concentrate more on consumables. Tea and coffee are fetching extremely bad prices and if you think about it, we consume the finished product. Concentrate on tourism as the foreign exchange earners and plant more food. Enough said

 

4. Ignorance has to go. Read point one

5. Affordable Shelter- Housing in Nairobi is a nightmare. It is expensive, expensive, expensive. For a poor people affordable housing is necessary.

 

There is my 2 cent contribution to end of poverty.

Questions and things to love

Digression 1.
What brings people to this blog;well thinks i do not expect like

Movies of women who like being choked??? WTF! I have no such fantasies

pornomovies with hairdressers. Honestly the things people search for.

Unexpected photos of girls with hairy armpits? Aaihh.

Olivia Otieno photo album
end of digression

1. I am not Anna Wintour's assistant. A book, a movie (The Devil Wears Prada) about her has been made. From ordering food from that restaurant she ate last week and don't bother me with any questions (which cafe, which food, find out)to get her the new Harry Potter book for her children and let it get to her before (i forget the details here). All i am saying is that i do not have a boss from hell. Only that Anna Wintour's assistant pay can fund my entire village's education, ok don't ask me questions, find out yourself. OOH God i would love to be Anna  Wintour.

2. It does snow in Kenya just that it happens in the Nyahururu forest. Maybe it was snow, hailstones only that did not happen in Nairobi. I love the weather mainly because even when it is very cold, you can still walk around without a jersey and not die.

 

3. Kenyans don't really read so nobody is going to be dumping me for my literary tastes :). Do people dump others for lack of literary tastes? Yes they do, in Manhattan. Some judge you instead, which for me is ok. As if dating was not hard enough without adding literary tastes...Honestly, there are ideal deal breakers like laughing out in a disturbing manner.

 

4. WE collectively love Obama and think he rocks but apparently he is not one of the stuff white people like. Eiishh

 

5. Mao, has some very disturbing resoluteness with which we should treat our enemies, i am lucky to be Christian. If lost, google Mao's quotations.

 

6. How hard is it to love Sarah Palin. I think too hard. Kenyans might wonder why anyone would even be remotely interested in who is the president of the US. You remember Marie Stopes, it is now dead because of Bush. Do you remember the joke when Petrol prices were cheaper than mineral water, that was so pre-Bush. As long as America keeps on fighting Iraq and real/imagined terrorists we are fucked.

 

7. Why does the Standard Group use the same logo as the Guardian?

 

8. Who is the current Miss Kenya?

 

9. Apparently Jelimo is currently worth Ksh. 132M, honestly my feet might better find ways of making money. All they ask from me is a pedicure, i think it's time they started providing for me. Congrats Jelimo on joining our mega millionaires. I hope you can rub the habit of making millions in no time to all of us.  

 

--

"I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best."

PONDERING

Just confirming that my squatter status has not been disrupted by blogger.com.

 

In my culture, it is believed that if someone talks about you, you either trip or bite your tongue. I wonder at the rate which everybody is talking about Obama, doesn't he spend the whole day tripping or biting his tongue.

 

Of Mc Cain's VP choice aren't some people just mean?

Is this Kenyan weather serious? Can it decide once and for all if it wants to rain, be sunny or whatevs, it is not funny walking in town then the next thing are heavy rain drops and you have no any umbrella or a jersey for that matter. Don't we all miss the days when you knew it was going to rain in April, watch Safari Rally? Aaihhh

 

So the KNHCR Report is out. Can all the jdefenders of the Rift Valley Mps and their involvement in the violence stand up and be counted????

 

Till next time.

 

 

LINKS

These links are for those into developing writing skills or reading literature or just  improving your English. After university, your English will never be the same again.

Sparknotes
This to me is an excellent resource. Not only does it have the full texts in a readable format, it gives analysis of literature materials.

World English

You can learn all those past and present tenses you could (might) forgotten. It also has free online books.  Good resource

Poem Hunter

This is a site for people who love poetry. Has a poem each day and could email one to you if you request. Excellent resource for poetry.

enotes

Another excellent resource.


Those are so far the best sites meaning without pop ups and too much advertising for online reading.  If you think i am a small dog, then feel free to give me your own.

Trust Issues

I do not know much especially about trust.

There is one common trend i have realized as i do my daily professional job(s).

Kenyan men do not trust their wives with their properties the way they trust their brothers and friends. These are the common reasons given;

As soon as she realizes she will leave me.

If i bequeathe property to her then she will get married to someone else after i die.

Most: You know you cannot understand women

I seldom understand how you can share a bed with someone every day of your life (who could stab you at night, ok for y'all old enough The Burdens by John Ruganda never cease to haunt me) but not trust the same with your property. How? Life/Property???

So now i have been left wondering, why do people even get married in the first place, if they will live the rest of their lives wondering what this other person is upto. Granted some women read Akinyi of Chinedu have given us women a bad names but what are the consequences of leaving your property to your brothers/friends?

Or at even the worst of them never letting your partner not know how much property you could be having or how much you are worth?

I think it is in bad taste to leave your partner out of your life, because eventually most brothers do as they would (human as they are) disinherit your widow. Worst case scenario being your children being reduced to derelicts. Many people know of a story where the pops left the children living in the suburbs but had to pack to the slums.

Men in Kenya accumulate so much debt on the property they have and sometimes even the house his family is living in is on debt. When he certainly (didn't they say death is certain) dies his family is kicked out the following day. Not even the partner knows that the man owed a mountain of debts. This had direct effects on the family and on the society as a whole. We all know adjusting from the suburbs to the slums is not easy and could never be.

In my opinion, a lot is needed to be done on the property front as far as estate planning goes, Kenyans are doing badly.

who is the HEro

Most epic tales, tragedies, comedies have a hero.

In the poem/movie, Beowulf possessed courage when he speaks to Hrothgar about fighting Grendel. In those lines Beowulf says "My lord Higlac might think less of me if I let my sword go where my feet were afraid to, if I"
In the end Beowulf kills Grendel.

Romantic Novels/Disney world
My friend was recently hurt badly by a man she loved/trusted and said that we should all sue hollywood/disney land for making girls imagine that there was a real prince hero out of there.

My hypothesis
In the olden days, people believed there were gods who would rescue man from any danger. Thus turned up when the situation was completely helplessly and solved the situation without as much as breaking a sweat.

Heroes would rather die than look weak

Thus when Kenyans appoint a president who is not afraid to look weak, they develop a loathe for him as they in their heads swore him Heroically.  That's why many Kenyans begged to ask why didn't he show up at Uhuru park just like the first time.  Nobody likes weaklings.

That's not the point.

When women get married, they are looking for a HEro. One who will make their problems disappear. One who will protect them always. Who will not be weak to make bold decisions. Who will speak out for her when the family is against her.

Something in me tells me some people are failing in being the HEro that's why marriages break so often.  Though i wonder, would women live a much fuller life, if they expected less of men to be HEroes?

IT'S THE FOLKS WORLD

4.47..Friday evening, it's a rainy city so decide to rush home before the traffic jam nightmare. That's what my parents would want me to do.

What I would do
Wait for the traffic nightmare, look for the nearest pub, drink until midnight or so and then crawl back home.  Everybody knows it has been raining alright.

What did i do, I rushed home.

I am scared.

Saturday
I did not leave the house, it was very cold.

What I would do?
Convince myself that cold has never stopped anyone. You know when the pub is quite full, chances are that it will be hot. And anyway beer tastes better when it is cold.

What did i do?
Spent the whole day breaking my back with housekeeping and realized how ungrateful and unrewarding it can be. Then slept.

Obviously, my mother's efforts are paying off after some 20 odd years. My parents do like to see people in the house all the time. But obviously estrogen ed/testosterone children do not stay in the house.

Which makes me wonder (i am starting to sound like Carrie Bradshaw), do we finally become what our parents wanted us to be?

HOTNESS

Adrian Grenier, Entourage main boy.

African Politics and politicos.....continued. the C

This is one of the most interesting post i have done. Reading about these Africans can make you shudder. The story of Patasse and Bozize reminds me of what King David told his son;to do away with his general if he was to survive.  Patasse was attending a conference in Niger in 2003 only to come home and find President Bozize (Ala). A further attempt to become President was thwarted with "Sir there is a problem with your birth certificate"

Let us just say the reason why Africa is so undeveloped is in their politics and quest for power.

Anyway,

Cameroon- an Anglophone country. The home to the great Etoo.

First multi party elections held in 1992. Private Radio and Television stations are not allowed. The President Biya is there because the opposition boycotted the  elections in 1997. Journalists are frequently arrested. Not a media free country really...more

Cape Verde- the former Portuguese colony where the Prime Minister is the head of government. In the first Multi party elections in 1992, the opposition party won. Conducts free and fair elections. Has even won some award for that. For more details

Central Arican Republic (CAR). This is one of most poorest country in the Africa and hence the world
Surrounded by Chad, Sudan, Congo and Cameroon (some neighbours those are!).
The president was overthrown by a general in 2003 by name Francoise Bozize who went ahead to conduct a democratic election in 2005.  Their saga is above

Chad- this is an Arabic country. Also one of the most poorest and corrupt countries in the world. It is marred by poor governance. The president Idriss Deby is an executive one who is most reputed for marrying severally. He has been in power since 1990 which he seized by a military coup, He has contested and won in 1996 and 2001. Little is said of the elections...more
 
Comoros-this is an Island country with a population of 780,000 people. That's less than the Nairobians.  Despite being poor, this country has had coups and political insurrections. The president was elected democratically. . More

Cote D' Ivoire (ivory coast)_ Home to the striker Dider Drogba.
Many things have been said in Kenya precisely on 30th December that it should go the Ivory way. Exactly which way was this?
There is an ongoing civil war, coups and political insurrection. The country is split between the president  Laurent Ggabo and a rebel leader Soro.  It seems until the groups are disarmed, they are stuck.

AFRICAN POLITICS ALPHABETICALLY A-C

All eyes are on Mugabe and everyone including PM Raila is asking the AU to intervene. Yeah right; you might want to know what the C.E.O's of Africa  call democracy. I mean you cannot exercise democracy if you do not know what democracy is or ask others to exercise democracy. How now???. That's why all your AU intervention please will fall on deafest ears. In this case of Zimbabwe to quote Bossip i will say Jesus Take the Wheel.

Sources: wikipedia

Algeria
I cannot understand how their politics work for this Arabic Country (do they even consider themselves Africans?). Go here

Angola
This country has been ravaged by war for several decades.

Has an executive Presidency. The last elections were held in 1992, the president has said there may be elections in 2009. That's 17 Years folks.
For more go here

Benin
Has an Executive president by name Thomas Boni Yayi.
2 year maximum cap, elections free and fair. No 70+ president.  Fair enough

Botswana
I could say one of the most opportunity countries in Africa, i am a Kenyan i know that. General elections held fair and freely every five years. Good

Burkina Faso
This is the land of the upright people.

Executive president for a five year term. Sitting president does not qualify for a re-election.  Ruled by a folk called
Blaise Compaore since 1987. Thats 21 years. Fossil!!. Go here

Burundi
One of the poorest countries in the whole wide world from where my ancient folks must have almost come from. Pierre Nkurunziza is the C.E.O. A guy called Buyoya had declared himself president in a bloodless coup sometimes in 95. To know more about the guru of African Destruction go here

Ps/ C-G this week.

MIS-NAIROBI-FICATION

Confession

I have a new terrible habit..

When a chic passes me & my friends, or is around us, we check out her hairstyle (do), shoes and her clothes and talk about it.

I think its a bad habit (fullstop)

I could use "INSTANT"

Ever since instant carrot, we no longer cut our own sukumawikis (thanks to Instant), nor meat. Yes please i hope to get someone to cut the onions too.

Don't you just love this Instant era?

We communicate instantly (how is it we survived with the posta Snail mail), waiting for replies forever that is if it were ever delivered. Which reminds me of the KBW card, that was last seen in England (digression 101).

Lemme remember how we used to write the damn letter,

"dear xxxx, i hope you are fine. Thanks for your letter, i received it with many thanks (grammaerrors intended). We are all fine, infact grandmother was sick,,..aiish"

Now we write,
"hy, how r u? M gud. misya".

For the record, don't send me any of those r u's.

Now, what i need is

Instant hair (weaves not applied for) like, braids planting themselves on my head without me having to sit for 6-7 hours in a kibanda.

Instant moods-there is a certain someone i want to manufacture a smile for albeit unwillingly because i am not good at fakery. This time it's important

Instant husband- not really but i mean when i need one then said can disappear when i don't need. Ps/ I still intend to leave alone

I know there are certain instants i can get
Instant nails (ala acrylics)
Instant loving

I mean instant publishing (blogging).

Why wait when you can get the instants?
I

SATC in Nairobi

Forget Sex and the City, guide to the Nairobi dating scene

For men over 35

Normal? Yes
Playa? Yes go to number two

Conventional wisdom; good men are nabbed before they can learn how to use their money alone.

Number One: Normal, playa
Define normal; not psychotic, has no R-Kelly sort of "in the closet" secrets
Hard to quit the playa life..go to number two

Number Two; Normal, Not Playa

Set Criteria :Income levels

High income

Set new criteria: Religious?

Not been to a church since Pope John Paul was here in '85. Can pass

Set new criteria: Interesting?

Favourite Joke: I passed out while driving my car after drinking

Huh! go to Number three

Number three: normal, not playa, teetotaller, good jokes

Rare type. if you get this one, run to the AG's

Many other things

Nairobi is becoming super active for those with similar interests. Take one bar camp, Sevens, Wapi, Tusker Project FAME grand finale all on the same weekend!

There is no more techie in me that goes beyond writing this blog. Thank you blogger. But i attended albeit very late,the Bar Camp Nairobi finally meeting Hash. Even if i half understood half of what was going on, i caught on one that i finally could understand, the renewable sources. But even then it would be good to know what kind of things the folks at Blogger go through and naturally i am a curious person.

What i saw
People of young age interested in changing their lives and hence the lives of many Kenyans. Wealth creation in Kenya is a topic that deals me headaches, think of it just how much can you do with scarce resources. But even then, lets hope we are going to translate these super ideas into cash!

The thing with Blog world is that it introduces you to fantastic people who you would probably have never met who are all interested in doing things to change things around them. Most people in Kenya are stuck in the problem phase, solutions are rarely provided.

Anyway i went for Sevens a bit. The Kenyans can cheer and drink.

NOTORIETY INDEX

I wish i could have conducted a poll on this one.

• Matatu Drivers take the accolades- they are loud,  act like they have a right of way, don't care about traffic rules and generally represent what ill manners look like. Plus their conductors

• Stock brokers are fast gaining the name rogue and wayward- this need not be explained

• Civil Servants- though no longer known as the people who hang the coats on the chair while pretending to be at work the whole day, . Civil servants have not really changed and i don't expect them to. They still blatantly ask for bribes to do work they should be doing. Lets just say 99% make the other 1% look bad. 

• Industries - They join this index for making Nairobi River look like a dumping site or worse. 

• The Transport Minister- I don't know what this guy does, maybe he should explain to us via the notorious Government Spokesman. 

• Members of Parliament- Nothing good can be said of these people. They know how to debate on many issues concerning how to raise their money, how to use their money and how to have money after they leave parliament. Very progressive indeed.

• The Standard newspapers- I don't know if this Newspaper knows there are many things that exist in Kenya beyond their cheap political rhetoric.
  

• The City Planners -and who are they?
• All those people who come on Tv and say "Tunaomba Serikali itusaidie"

IF YOU CAN'T SING....LOOK GOOD

People say sometimes that Beauty is only superficial. That may be so. But at least it is not so superficial as Thought is. To me, Beauty is the wonder of wonders. It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.
Oscar Wilde

The Judges at Tusker Project Fame and Idols are in distress. This is from the decision of the public to save Hemedi Suleiman and Cynthia Kuto despite their apparent lack of strong singing talent. See no much probs with Cynthia but Hemedi (ngai fafa!). And they are not hiding it.

I almost went under cover, hearing Hemedi sing New York, New York, Frank Sinatra's precious song. It was first destroyed by Susan Mayer (Teri Hatcher) in Desperate Housewives. Gosh that song will never be the same again. 

Ian could be heard saying terrible, intolerable (not), deplorable.

But all the same if i was a contestant, i would save Hemedi any day. Why? He  is not competition enough. I wouldn't pull an Alvan then end up without a Benz ati "For love"whaddf**k

SOME THINGS JUST DON'T GO AWAY

Don't get me wrong (disclaimer)

After the Harambee Stars match, the stars started singing "Obama, Oliech, Odinga". Point being?

The win was ecstatic with thousands of Kenyans watching the match aside from that so not welcome tribal insinuation. The stars should remember all Kenyans are with them regardless.

And that not in football alone

When ODM fronted a Kipsigis by name Nge'no, Nkaissery could no longer understand democracy, it was tribal issues again. NO way could a Kipsigis lead the Maasais. Wow!

When Esther Passaris fronted herself she said "Ni Muthoni" just to appeal to the larger Kikuyu community of Embakasi and she stated rightfully of course that her mother hails from Naromoru.  That didn't work for her even if i really wanted her to win. I was negatively touched by her appeals. I think she is a brilliant strong person and she didn't have to go to that extent to appeal to the voters.

Somethings just won't magically disappear.

New Trick Questions.

So if you are a young twenty something female going on interview in Kenya you expect this questions for reals

Are you single
the answer to this one is lose-lose
Yes
Interpretation
You have come to look for husband in our company

you will soon be married
meaning
you will be pregnant soon
and need 4 months off

Verdict: not hired

Are you single
NO
Next question
Are you married
Are you engaged

Lets see
Married without children
You are going to get some soon and yes need 4 months leave to pop

 Married with probs one child (hey20 something)
Have you finished with the family you know (22, huh, obviously not!)
You will need 4 months leave

Verdict: Not hired.

Muse

Filed under Unconventional Fiction

So I took to my keypad, my last resort. Typing away, wishing to say things that make sense. I can't really say how it started. It could have been at the door while keying in those ambiguous non meaning codes that say "you are late!" or is it "you can come in here!!!" That's the earliest I can remember.  My mind still doubts if it means you belong here or here is taken. That road of thought goes nowhere as I can't get anything. Get me a copy of He's just not that not into you, it still doesn't work. Figure this out; it's not just that clear, ok Greg! The inner psychic that brings all things into a complete unraveled mystery refuses to work and I am left in a hollow deep dark and frightened shallowness. Work me some anxiety attacks of "OOH my God, that did happen to me!"

 

Ok, so it's not anything to sweat over, right. Nobody should sweat over small stuff.  So, why the sudden realization? I mean if your dreams are filled with walking somebody's, ok everyone does walk. Anyway let's just say, dreams are intimate things but when featuring certain somebody's 7 nights out of 7 nights, it gets scary. And that certain somebody is hardly aware of the said fact. It feels a bit odd; it deserves space on my space. Like post a video of the dreams on you tube and then post to said somebody and say "Don't you just gerrrrrit!". Then explain like Barney (HIMYM) that's totally going in my blog huH.

 

 Said person has no legendary anything. I mean not strong hands that played rugby(KM 06).  Ok I know other somebody with J. Or lets just say said person's legend is still undiscovered. So help ME God

Cristiano Ronaldo and the Prisoner of Azkaban????

I am just assuming there are Harry Potter fans in the blogosphere.  This is a super one!!!


The picture of Dorian Gray yes the so called immoral book by the Iconic Oscar Wilde is been made to a movie again.  If you haven't read it go to www.oscarwildecollection.com  or go to a Nakumatt near you, book costs only Ksh. 250. 

IS ANYONE SWITCHING TO CELTEL???

If there is an interesting oligopoly (duopoly) in Kenya is Safaricom  and Celtel. While other oligopolies say Newspapers have a fixed price for their products and that's the expected business behaviour Safcom/Celtel continues to wage price wars.

The latest is one of the cheapest; 3/= sh Celtel off peak hours. But is anyone switching to Celtel. Kenyans have been waiting endless for cheap mobile calls, nothing is cheaper than 3/= but why are Safaricom subscribers so loyal. There is nothing superior about Safaricom, their customer service is the crappest, their free customer care line never goes through, their care centres always have lines akin to those of Co-operative banking hall.

Things Celtel/new entrants might have to consider;
Kenyans hold their numbers dear to their heart. At the beginning of the mobile telephony, subscribers switched their lines between Kencel and Safcom before finally settling on safaricom or Kencell. That's at the point Kencell then lost their first war.
Kencell fought the battle at Clarity; Safaricom fought the war on cheapest.
Cheapest made sense then.

So came Celtel which realized that clarity was not making sense and started introducing new cheaper tariffs on a weekly basis. Some people bought Celtel lines on the side to call when it was cheaper to do so. Again no one switched from Safaricom permanently. It soon became boring to  switch between two lines.

Now Celtel is fighting on a cheaper war, Safaricom is not bothered.

Will Safaricom regret this apathy? Safaricom must have tested their customers loyalty and realized its unwavering. 

Kenyans have this thing of brand loyalty. As someone joked they ask for "Blueband ya Prestige" They think margarine is blue band. Just like they think Pampers =diapers or think Kodak.

Think Mobile think Safaricom.



 

The saga continues....

After reading this post at Kumekucha and the comments that followed, it shows me if we don't get an Obama Kenya as a nation we are headed for extinction.Even King Solomon might have to cut the baby into half proverbially so.

 

What's this there is more HIV in Nyanza vs more HIV in Central discussion? Why should it even arise?

 

Why does any discussion on Raila lead to portrayal of Kikuyus as monsters. What does a discussion of Kibaki have to do with Raila and vice versa, the two are not the same person and each has their own fatal flaws (think Art of War) and merits.

 

I know each is aware of the disastrous election campaigns they carried out.The effects of divisions are not going to wear out just because somebody said so.

That notwithstanding I thought 4 months later and after intense bleeding I am shocked we are still having a your province is better than ours or our people are more hardworking than yours arguments. When will Kenyans ever grow up? I mean if you can't learn from your own experiences then how can you learn?

 

When I listened to Orengo waxing lyrical that Kikuyus who have been displaced from the Rift Valley should be resettled, elsewhere  I could not believe he is first and foremost a human rights lawyer and a nationalist as he had appeared to severally be. How politicians change. There has been an excellent piece on Kenya Imagine on the issue of Ancestral land and someone has asked very correctly "since the Maasai people are nomadic pastoralists, does that mean every piece of parcel they have passed through makes it their ancestral land?". What I know is that anyone claiming others must move from their rightful or otherwise acquired land, is a terrible daydreamer. Ask those who own land in the middle of Nairobi City. Maybe Kenyatta was wrong in allocating land to his cronies/tribesmen, maybe he was not; I am not willing to pursue where is it again,..where my great great great grandfather came from maybe he was even a Maasai grazing his cows and then...., I don't know. see how drafty the story of ancestors can be.

 

Ababu Namwamba swallows Bitter Pill

 

Politics is an interesting game, a few months just when the Honorable Ababu Namwamba pulled theatrics on the swearing day of parliament he has to taste his own medicine. The man he swore to will hear nothing of opposition and publicly so. The people of Kisumu have been told that Government is where they belong and rightly so after the attempt to get into statehouse were thwarted by what some will argue (ODMers) grand theft of elections.

 

I have nothing but respect for Mr. Ababu the young man from Budalangi who ousted the useless Raphael Wanjala but that is as far as it goes. Your tongue the bible says is very dangerous and destructive.

 

Raila and Kibaki belong to the same class; the elite political class. I mean just six months after I was born, Raila pulled one on Moi, that was 26 years ago .Kibaki was then a VC for president Moi . 20 years later, he is the man that Raila declared "Tosha" and who Raila is calling your Excellency now. Gosh Ababu can't you see? Politics is a silly game! You disrespected Kibaki in full glare of the Cameras because you thought they are grand enemies. Now Raila marked you, knows you can't respect an old man (at least) and will clip you before you can develop your wings!  First learn the game, before you can even act or talk.Don't get too excited. Watch this space.

 

I NEVER LEARN!

I never learn
So i say to myself

I never learn
Where the heart should not go

I never learn
To cut on high caloried food

I never learn
Not to give when i should take

I never learn
Not to sleep when i should wake

I never learn
To work more and surf less

I AM AFRAID

Feels like it's the cul de sac
you make a turn
or choose a new road
What will it be?

Kenya is now.....wait for it............................Bongoland

I am sorry folks, but i had this sudden realization as i rode the matatu today that it's really bongo land. I had this amazing appetite for Kenyan do i say hiphop music but i no longer hear it and yes you guessed right, folks would rather listen to Bongo than kapuka or genge.

When bongo landed the likes of Nameless were asked what they thought of it. They answered like i would anyway that it was a passing cloud...and people are interested in new things. It's been over 6 years since Bongo landed and what i am seeing  right now is an entrenchment not a passing cloud.

Watch the Beat, listen to 7 at 7 on Kiss where Binti Kiziwi is now a favourite and you slowly realized Kenyan hiphop music has been taking over. The fans have complained for lack of good videos and amazingly bad videos and snobbish one hit artistes! Even pulse is covering bongo artistes more and more...saad.

For those still wondering what Bongo music is follow here.

Now what do the likes who sing Kapuka and Genge due...restrategize my friends or rather revolutionize time for restrategizing is over, coz you are so out!

Don't get me wrong, i would love to say i am a fan of kenyan hiphop but you know what i was sold. It's not my fault nor lack of patriotism.

I met a Thief

A.S. Bukenya

 

On the beach, on the coast,

Under the idle, whispering coconut towers,

Before the growling, foaming, waves,

I met a thief, who guessed I had

An innocent heart for her to steal.

 

She took my hand and led me under

The intimate cashew boughs which shaded

The downy grass and peeping weeds.

She jumped and plucked the nuts for me to suck;

She sang and laughed and pressed close.

 

I gazed: her hair was like the wool of a mountain sheep,

Her eyes, a pair of brown-black beans floating in milk.

Juicy and round as plantation shoots

Her legs, arms and neck;

And like wine-gourds her pillowy breasts;

Her throat uttered fresh banana juice:

Matching her face-smooth and banana-ripe.

 

I touched- but long before I had even tasted,

My heart had flowed from me into her breast;

And the she went – high and South-

And left my carcass roasting in the fire she'd lit.

Did Mutoko have anything to do with MK's Exit

To be honest MK's breakfast show has been legendary in itself. Not just the contribution of King'ang'i but the mix of both Maina and Mk was terrific. It was what made morning traffic bearable.

But good things apparently don't last. (how sad)

So today someone gave me a whole perspective to this debacle that Queen B could have had something to do with the Mwalimu's exit. Trust me Kenyans really are worried about Mwalimu's exit and they talk about it all the time. She runs the Quarcoo affairs that is not necessarily a dark secret, the extent to which is what nobody knows.

The MK's stole the show from her i.e. the Big Breakfast and struggling to remain relevant was something she must have thought of. After all the concept of a glamourous big breakfast came with Phil Mathews (Capital FM) then Carol Mutoko..

If all MK was asking for was Ksh. 20,000, would Radio Africa Ltd not be in a position to give him even more? After all what was Classic 105 without the both MK's?.

Just in time for KISS100's FM new recruit to replace Nyambane and did the switch happen?  Will the switch go back to KISS 100 FM. Talk of survival tactics.

Learning from Buzzted

The curtain might fall on Ciku's Breakfast show on Easy FM, i am not a big fan of hers but sometimes inevitably have had to listen to familiar stories told to different people and working all the time. You can fool all the fools all the time really. Anyway, here are the lessons learnt;

1. If you think that tots belongs to someone else, he/she does
2. If you think someone is cheating on you, he/she is
   
3. Sometimes you are just the side kick really
4. No Don Juan would be busted on busted
5. Calling people and promising them holidays works all the time
6. Who do you want to send the flowers to? also works
7. 100% of the people buzzted are gullible, how now? that makes a chunk of Kenyans Huh!
8. We all love free things
9. When the deal is too good think twice:)
10. Does Easy FM reach the whole nation?
    

What happened to our Beloved Country?

When did people think it is alright to terrorize fellow citizens because ;

a) The Government has wronged them

b)They are poverty stricken, unemployed youths?

c)They have the ability to do so

As we speak the transport system has been paralyzed, fares have doubled, citizens are in morbid fear. This is because a certain group of people have said so.

But why do these groups seen during the post election violence and now operate with such impunity?

The ruling (political) class have used these same gangs to gain power.  The gangs seen during the post election violence were first and foremost not normal Kenyans but to all and sundry (meaning the world)  were normal mwananchi angry at the election results. That argument did pass and you know what some people majorly benefited from this and are currently occupying posh offices. We won't get into that.

So why won't new gangs come out and demand the respect that the gangs during the post election violence got with outstanding success? you need power, hire a gang, terrorize citizens and get it!  Whatever it is Mungiki are asking/demanding for is unknown. But all i know is we are tired, sick tired of this mindless violence to citizens.

Blogger -Citizen Journalism

Somebody seems to care what blogger say. It is quite a good thing.
Nairobi Star yesterday carried a very interesting headline to quote "
Are bloggers dangerous propagandists?"

Today the Standard has a column titled "Bloggers fury over the new cabinet".

Bloggers i think represent the Kenyans who speak straight from the gut.

Though Mwangi from Thinkersroom may make one think that M is in M for
Mwangi. I think these people need a few lessons from bloggers.

Good day people

New (OLD) cabinet, Mungiki Strikes

Despite there being new fresh faces in parliament the two country
stalwarts have decided to give us a thoroughly recycled cabinet.

Picture these

Ministers from ODM (recycled)
William Ole Ntimama
Kipkalya Kones
Dalmas Otieno
Chris Obure
Henry Kosgey
Fred Gumo
Dr. Sally Kosgei
Musalia Mudavadi

These are people who foresaw and actively participated in times of our
economic depression. One of the reasons why I never saw the hype about
ODM was this. Some may be real reformists but the persons who ended
up having real power were the old goons because of their economic
power which is very crucial in political campaigns in Kenya. I don't
know why they should be given a benefit of doubt but all I know is ODM
could have done better with their many fresh faces. Out of 20
Ministers, 12 served in the powerful Moi Regime.

Ministers from PNU (recycled)
Samuel Poghisio
Prof. Sam Ongeri
Yusuf Haji
Prof. George Saitoti

PNU on the other hand also has many new faces that you would expect in
the cabinet, George Thuo for example, the man who provides transport
in Nairobi is a man you would not expect to miss in the cabinet. He is
young and refreshing. I am shocked young Kimunya survived the old
folks onslaught.

I am extremely disappointed with this cabinet, it gives nobody hopes
nor does it promise anything new. All I can see is political games
well played and a further entrenchment of the political rewards to
tribal kingpins.

Mungiki strikes
As if in mockery, some Nairobi Residents woke up to a rude shock. The
members of the outlawed took to the streets terrorizing Motor Vehicle
owners and burning vehicles. From the reports gathered they went on
and about in estates such as Zimmerman, Githurai, Dandora, Tassia,
Gachie, Limuru, Ruaka and other parts of Eastlands. Thika Road, a
normally traffic jam stricken road, was very clear with most PSV's
(Matatus) avoiding the road for fear of the dreaded Militia. The wife
of the de facto Mungiki leader is said to have been killed with her
driver in the car and dumped in a forest. It is not clear who/how the
wife died but it has surely angered the Militia with them promising to
raise terror until their concerns (?) are met. I can only hope the
Government will act swiftly to avoid further securing concerns.

Marlaw - Bembeleza

Kingangi is out!

(digression 101) I am sure if everyone had a gun , they would point it to the Big Men not a fellow Kenyan which is not a bad thing.

Anyway it just dawned on me that it is true the character known as Philgonias (sp) aka Mwalimu Kingangi who in
real life carries the Name Ndambuki in his National ID has left Classic FM. Maina Kageni is lonely and it is so evident.  So Pulse (the official Perez HIlton) in Kenya writes it is about the pay. That MK (2) was starting to hold Classic FM hostage to increase his pay (huh). I don't know methinks its weird.

But i say King'angi is nothing without Classic Breakfast  i am quickly reminded Classic Breakfast Show is nothing without King'ang'i.

I am not saying Maina Kageni is not a great presenter. MK (1) is a terrific presenter, kwanza that voice of his is just too sexy but the show is just not complete without MK (2). Considering the traffic jams Kenyans have to endure every morning; a good joke makes it a bit less taxing and much more enduring.

I can't remember the last time i listened to Carol Mutoko. Then there was a time when Kiss FM rocked with CM and Nyambane, apparently that is no longer the position. Though i guess it's time humorists in the country ( i am sure there are people who can throw a few jokes apart from Nyams and King'angi) should find a very fulfilling career with Radio Africa.

I would actually want to know what is the real reason behind Mwalimu King'ang'i's sad departure from Classic FM.

Let Love Go, If Go she will

A few days ago i wrote about the pain of the lovelorn; this poem summarizes all

By Robert Louis Stevenson

Let love go, if go she will.
Seek not, O fool, her wanton flight to stay.
Of all she gives and takes away
The best remains behind her still.

The best remains behind; in vain
Joy she may give and take again,
Joy she may take and leave us pain,
If yet she leave behind
The constant mind
To meet all fortunes nobly, to endure
All things with a good heart, and still be pure,
Still to be foremost in the foremost cause,
And still be worthy of the love that was.
Love coming is omnipotent indeed,
But not Love going. Let her go. The seed
Springs in the favouring Summer air, and grows,
And waxes strong; and when the Summer goes,
Remains, a perfect tree.

Joy she may give and take again,
Joy she may take and leave us pain.
O Love, and what care we?
For one thing thou hast given, O Love, one thing
Is ours that nothing can remove;
And as the King discrowned is still a King,
The unhappy lover still preserves his love.

Chips, Love

When we were much younger, me & my sis measured the love of our mother by Chips and my brother by bread i swurr.

At first when my brother became of age and outgrew the bread, we started feeling threatened of our status quo (the sole beneficiary of the chips) mum started to bring him his own packet of chips and us guys would only get one to share.

When my bro was born i was 9 my sis was 7 i don't know what has changed but this days, 9 year olds are still toddlers but at our time we were grown children who could possibly do all types of housework.  I am still shocked that i can't make chapattis.  So we fed on his weetabix, cerelac (esp) carried him around. So on this day i put him on the table and poor boy woishe angukas, my mum instead of picking him took a slipper and did the necessary.  My mom's tool of punishment was a slipper and boy it worked. The threat of a slipper was enough for total submission. Because my bro was so beautiful, my sis carried him around telling everyone to come and see her beautiful brother. But sometimes we were not amused because my brother was such a toddler and you couldn't leave him alone when we wanted to go play.  He had this habit of crying until my mother came back and instantly would go to slipper mode in the name of "mlifanyia nini mtoto"??.
(digression)

My mom would go to do her business in town everyday and in the evening without failure would come with 2 packet of chips, mine and my sis. When she claimed to have no money we would only have one to share and with a lot of fight so when my brother came of chips eating age (3years) we would bribe him really hard. you would hear my sis humbly submitting "woiyee kababa si mimi ndio nilikubeba leo" only to get these extra chips. Call it love-hate, encroachment of a right to eat a full plate of chips, but that is how it worked.

Childhood stories though sometimes bitter (slippers) can be very entertaining especially when you sit with your mother and she denies that she ever did do anything leave alone cause misery. Like the day my sis disappeared and we had to look for her for almost 4 hours only to find her hiding just around the house. My last beatings were when i was in standard 4 after being slippered daily in Standard 3.

I bet everyone had one worth remembering.

Ooh

There is only one thing that brings instant tears to my eyes; my youngest brother. Every time I think about him I want to cry. I do not like writing it here but the fact that my brother lives with my aunt is something that breaks/tears my heart.

 

I come from a most imperfect family. Thanks God to my very abilities to shove everything aside, I am able to live with it. I don't wish for any other family either, I am totally content (not necessarily happy) knowing from the outside other people think ours is happiest one maybe because we can afford to live a bit better than others.

 

I brought up my brother for at least 2 years and for that time I grew in profound love. There is only person's love I am assured of in the world, his. We love each other totally, deeply and I don't think there is anyone who can ever take away that love from me, maybe my own children. I never understood why they said that a mother's love is the deepest for what I feel for my brother is deep love; I will lie to say I feel that about anyone else. Yet for some reasons i can't live with him. Reasons I will not delve into because that is a bit personal. But I read somewhere today that the only way to healing sometimes is through writing and I wish my brother would read this and know that I would not want him to feel abandoned ever in future that if it were in my greatest powers I would live with him and would not mind taking care of him however much great sacrifice it would call on my part.

 

As I write this I feel really badly, I cannot control the tears I feel for the emotional pain my brother has to go through. I do know for a fact relatives will never take care of other people's children and those who have had to grow without their parents can understand what I mean. I have told my mother once and more again that their separation did not have to affect my brother in that way and for the reason only I have no say in his life being only his sister as once, when we were having a discussion with my aunt she retaliated by asking who I was to him and only my parents could discuss his well being and where he is to stay. My mother says she is in no position to provide for the young boy as his father and for my father, his child would rather be brought up by his aunt rather than a house help (to an extent i agree).

 

Sometimes I pray to God, asking him to give me the guidance on how to handle that issue because when I have tried to handle it I have ended blowing a storm out of it and falling out with my both parents. They in my opinion don't see any problem with being holiday parents or si I go to see him or he is lacking in nothing. I know he is lacking in nothing but I don't know anything that taking care of another human being and knowing he has your love and back, and to take him to hospital when he falls sick and to take him to school.

 

Gosh I better stop there!

KIBAKI & MUGABE

Nothing is more disgusting than to hear anybody make comparisons between Mugabe and Kibaki. The two are hardly in the same league. Mugabe has brought to ruins the economy of Zimbabwe, the same cannot be said of Kibaki.

While the facts surrounding the Kenyan elections and the Zimbabwe elections are similar in delaying of the elections results, the opposition in Zimbabwe could be a true hope for the future of Zimbabwe but the opposition in Kenya (as it were) can hardly bear any hope then and still now. I can hardly call recycling of the KANU remnants as the opposition (then was), i am not shocked those guys are still haggling over who to occupy cabinet posts.

 If you are giving Kibaki an option of Henry Kosgey, Sally Kosgey, Chris Obure or worse still William Ole Ntimama the classic case of failed leaders in the past. While we saw the rise of young persons who were shown the door e.g. Mukhisa Kituyi, Raphael Tuju, Mutahi Kagwe leaders we will sorely miss for their national contributions and making  differences in our lives. I have seen people in the cutting edge begging for them to spare Michuki (roads) in the new cabinet, people the country celebrated to lose (what is wrong with Kenyans?).

while the Zimbabwean Economy has seen extreme deterioration from lack of schools, mortuaries even, health facilities, the zim dollar rises as you queue for them. People are paid to reprice the goods in market, hardly can the same be said of Kenya even under Moi's rule. I have come to appreciate little things that are good in Kenya with time, i hope everyone learns to not to issue blanket condemnation of Africa's bad leadership

Open Mic Session

The last time i attended the open mic session we left arguing rather heartedly with a friend of mine on whether or not Tony Mochama was a literary genius. Obviously from my friend's ignorance, i highly doubt he knows TM's writings was of the argument that he wasn't as he (TM) had presented a reading on his deceased cousin.Anyway since i don't pride myself to be a literary critic, i will not make any further argument but all i know is  that the dude is a word smith literary.

amongst a backdrop of a picture of a young woman spotting a rather curly short hair that reminds me of 70's hair styles a mixture of young and not so young persons gather. This is the literary street literary as the newspaper people would call them. They are artistes of different nature, bloggers, actresses, budding poets, musicians and others who are basically here because they heard of open mic and their friends think its cool. As with every event/club in Nairobi there are people whose presence would much be elsewhere.

For some reason my eyes are drawn to the young woman on the picture. Who does she symbolize because when i turn around i see gals in long hair, with lines, braid not some curly short hair.Then there are two paintings of totally nude women on the walls of Club Soundd. Maybe that's the conviction that woman is art.

Time effluxes and i hear from different people masquerading as poets, real stuff and finally totally amateur stuff.  At one point my attention is caught with some very disgusting unpoetical language

"I miss you big"

Themes move from the obvious & exhausted love, pain, tragedies, comedy, Africa. I would though love to hear some satirical pieces but it seems the amateur & professional poets think nothing of this genre.

The audience is unsympathetic to boring stuff. When the stuff is good they respond with heavy clapping, the boring pieces are meant with a lot murmurs.

While along comes Eudiah who apparently blogs at www.eudiahkamonjo.wordpress.com , a welcome from the previous amateur of "I miss you big" and the performance is great. The Lack of performance from the other artistes is worrying.

Kwani the organization that oversees the Poetry Mic nite, though to be recognized for the display of the talented and the not so talented should provide minimum guidelines for the kind of pieces to be presented. By 9 O'clock the crowd most who i believe belong to the walking nation are ready to leave and by this time not a lot of professional artistes have not been heard.

Where: Club Soundd

When: Every First Tuesday of the Month

Charges: Ksh. 100

Books on the offering
What if I am a literary Gangsta -Tony Mochama
Books by Story Moja

don't ask for advice; if you don't need it

There are a breed of people who just tire me; those that come to ask you for advice that they don't need.

My life could be entirely stress free if i could come up with such sentences

Candy is
Dandy
but Liquor
is quicker

Yeah but mofos still think i should spend my life listening to their problems and worse still going back to their undesired state of life even after burdening me with the same.

I happen to be a keen follower of DNA's one hit wonder lyric
"Si tuna shida zetu, tusikize zako kwa nini?"

By the way its not that i do not love to help out people. Infact i am a very good listener or rather extremely good one. But when you ask me for advice about something, i do not expect you to follow it to the letter but i do not expect you to go back to the same so called stress after one day.

The space i have in my hard disk (head) is preserved for important matters.

Ok so where is this going

A gal comes gives you of a story of how the friend is draining her. You advise that is not proper for any kind of a relationship to be draining. Two days later they come hand in hand as if in mock.

Because i am getting tired of what these people did i will simply just say if your relationship with whatever, boy/girl, girl/girl, mother/daughter is draining you and you still intend to stick by it write all the problems that happen within in a journal!

I do tell people my problems only when i intend to do something about it. It's a waste of valuable mental space to keep bitching to all and sundry about your stressful relationship which you intend not to terminate.

I have no time nor space for people's mundane outbursts meant to seek sympathy.

the pain of the lovelorn

I can besure many people have been lovelorn at some point of their dating life.

     adj : unhappy in love; suffering from unrequited love [syn: bereft,
             unbeloved]

this is when you expect that the love you give will be returned but instead pain is all you feel.

That's the story of my friend. His girlfriend (or ex) is the total b.

I wonder why people find it easy to tear up somebody's self esteem by criticizing everything they do. The girl expects the guy to go out of his way, fetch her from wherever she is and worship her basically but won't do anything in return. The worst part is the guy is totally in love with her and he thinks he can't do without her. He says they have fought many times and made up but he is admitting he is now totally fed up with this chic.

I won't though be surprised if they are back together before i can battle my eyelid.

She tores into his everything, his eating habits, his driving, his dressing!!!

I told him though no one rides your back unless you bend and that is something i believe in completely. I would never let anyone tear into my self esteem. If you think i am not totally enough for you the way i am, why should i keep dragging you in my life.

Love is a difficult issue to deal with because it is something one barely understands anyway. So i ask him if there is anything that girl does that is so wonderful when she is not tearing into his life, he was at pains to explain!

He tells me she throws drama, embarrasses him in front of people and has made a hobby to cause drama even in front of his friend.

And that is not even the first friend i have had who has been mistreated like that. This dude had to deal with this mama who never stopped to remind him how lucky he was to have her! I once met her throwing tantrums at him on the street and i was so embarassed that i just passed the dude because i didn't want him to realize that i had noticed he was being harassed on the streets. Thank God he was finally able to get out of that relationship. And you know what was most interesting is that mama kept bugging him to take her back.  He never looked back!

If i was this dude i would take the nearest bata shoes and run for dear life!

Things i learnt from TZ

1. We don't sell  until you greet us! salamu kwanza
2. If you push for service you get none.
3. If you wanted to do your things faster, wake up earlier. Usituharakishe bana.
4. We don't sell everything to you. We don't sell whole packets, what will the next person buy?
5. Pole dancing, what is that?
6. You Kenyans ni wajeuri
7. You don't drink your whole beer, share please.
8.I am the ministers driver, bow down when you see me LOL

Anyway i hope ya'll had a great Easter! I did.


--
http://sylkwan.blogspot.com

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Tag 2- The absence of creativity

1.Taken a picture completely naked?
No.

2. Made out with a friend on your MySpace/Facebook page?
not.

3. Danced in front of your mirror naked?
yes

4. Told a lie?
Yes, but i don't like doing it.

5. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
ooh yes.

6. Been arrested?
No.

7. Made out with someone of the same sex?
No.

8. Seen someone die?
Not.

9. Slept in until 5pm?
yes

10. Had sex at work?
well never have. But thanks for the idea.

11. Fallen asleep at work/school?
yes.

12. Held a snake?
Not.
13. Ran a red light?
Not.

14. Been suspended from school?
Never

15. Totaled your car in an accident?
well no because i have none.

16. Pole danced?
No.

17. Smoked?
when i was totally high, i stopped though

18. Been fired from a job?
NO.

19. Sang karaoke?
Yes. After 12 straight hours of alcohol.

20. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
Yes i have like today.

21. Laughed until a drink came out your nose?
Yes.

22. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
In the village, i think it snows.

23. Kissed in the rain?
Not yet.
24. Sang in the shower?
Ooh yes i do

25. Given your private parts a nickname?
trick question

26. Ever gone out without underwear?
yes.

27. Sat on a roof top?
NO.

28. Played chicken?
Yes. rarely though.

29. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
No.

30. Broken a bone?
Yes.
31. Mooned/flashed someone?
Yes.

32. Shaved your head?
Last time '95
33. Slept naked?
Yes, when its very hot

34. Played a prank on someone?
Ooh yes

35. Had a gym membership?
Nope.

36. Felt like killing someone?
No.

37. Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry?
Yes.

38. Cried over someone you were in love with?
Ooh yeah for almost 2 year. ..daft?

39. Had sex more than 10 times in one day?
Hehehe, are there such studs. 10 times aiih. no

40. Had Mexican jumping beans for pets?
what?

41. Been in a band?
No.

42. Subscribed to Maxim?
NO subscriptions.

43. Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol?
eeeh he. thats a tricky one (peter marangi 07)

44. Shot a gun?
none.

45. Had sex today?
No. I am a single woman.

46. Played strip poker?
Yes. not divulging details

47. Tripped on mushrooms?
NO.

48. Donated blood?
Not.
49. Videotaped yourself having sex?
No.

50. Eaten alligator meat?

NO.

51. Ever jump out of an airplane?

NO.

52. Have you been to more than 10 countries?
nope


53. Ever wanted to have sex with a platonic friend?
Platonic friends are there because we don't want to have sex with them in the first place. Not ruling it out though.

Tag I am It

One of my favourite bloggers for real is back with a tag

Random things about Shiroh not Girl in the Meadow

1. I have a conscience and a deep one. I am not the kind of person who can do crazy stuff and feel like i did nothing. On the surface it appears so but my God it affects sometimes i just ran to the adoration chapel and feel like crying.
   
2. I can't date light coloured men...there you have it...sawwrrrrry. They don't attract me at all. maybe its because the ones i have have turned out weak but that doesn't mean all are that's just my experiences.
   
3. Well to be honest, i find it hard to forgive people at least completely. I cannot stand personal attacks. So if you are fond of telling me of just how fat i am or such kind juz know i aint into it!!
4. I luuuurve Music totally. from country  to Mugiithi to anything with beats i am into it. I sometimes sing on the streets so guys stop and ask "ati?" Idle Kenyans!!! When the music is good i am at Zen or is it Nirvana??
5. I like experimenting. People get caught up in my experiments.   And then Numero 1 comes to haunt me and i feel like shyt for a few days. Enough said.
   
6. I am right handed, left footed. When i go for aerobics you never know what happens. The instructor says right leg curl, i do left leg curl, says right hand i do left leg right hand. Jesus!! Thanks God for aerobics i am learning to co-ordinate my movements.
   

I tag
Seasons
JadeKitten