Friday, September 28, 2007


Most of the times when i am going through my normal life i like to picture if this was a movie set what would happen next. Really? Like when i am walking where there was a grenade/explosion/bomb near Ambassadeur hotel, if an explosion was to happen. The Actress would know if she would be injured or die or survive or even in soap operas they can create a circumstances where the actress would disappear then everyone would think they died only to resurrect again when their lover is just about to marry another gal blahblah. Good TV.

Now, look at Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore & Mandy Moore, i call them the triplets of blondi(oty). Are they just blonde or they act blonde. Ok i once saw the first Daughter ok there are like 50 versions of that movie. Father president of US, she is followed by cops everywhere and falls in love (obviously) with a non starter. So this movie featured Mandy Moore, boring stuff.

Now they have no idea of our own First Daughter (unofficial) even the Hollywood fathers haven't thought about it. Its ok to have unofficial sites, spokesman,....but daughter (phew!). Starting to write script. So our daughter has a love affair with a burly Armenian who shoots at the airport, drives GK, threatens everyone. Don't you think the First Daughter Hollywood director/script writer should call me for REAL movie.

wouldn't be fun if you could just just like in the movies know you are going to trip and super prince is going to be around? Or even if you missed your classes you would still pass with 1ST CLASS. ooh the good world of movies

Ok i gotta go. Nice Weekend. To be continued

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Once in a while i have always imagine doing a girlinthemeadow story in more than 100 pages (God bless Kenya) but really i have to give props to this guy

I got that from the African Woman magazine which i can say is quite good compared to ours apart from

1. Angela Angwenyi not Angweni. She presents mid morning not drive. Drive is for people with serious jokes to tell, Angela's son might not be a joke you know.

2. Sanaipei is not a radio presenter. She reads bits about famous people. She is also famous, i think she doesn't know. She is a fuckn good artist also (emphasis shoulda been there)

3. The Nakumatt lifestyle magazine it is. Not Smart Magazine and is not edited by her Majesty Masitsa

Good magazine in need of intense editing and spell checking. Writing to editor now for that position.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Marketing to Kenyans & Kenyans

I am no guru of marketing, i might not even know what marketing is per se but i think i know one or two things about Kenyan spending habits. Wuz reading how the South African biasharas have all flopped here in Kenya.

  1. There is nothing like "High end" or such words for us people. Like you can smell death of high end fashion stores everytime one is open. What do you think would happen to the likes of "The Stanley" if there were no tourists in Kenya. Scary huh, before you open anything for the high end, think twice.
  2. We are mostly rural too. Most of your executive didn't even wear shoes while attending school o.k. Ask Naikuni, ask Mwebesa if they wore shoes to school. They didn't. That is for supporting number 1. You understand point 1 is no high end. I am done with point 1.
  3. We do things. Repeat "WE". If my friend does threading in Salon X, there is a likelyhood WE are all going there. You remember the advertisement "Bring one, get one free" very good marketing. One person comes with whole clan. So if i give you a contract to shona my nguos do them well. WE will soon be coming all of us. But then again you lose ME you lose WE.
  4. The Young girl. Co-operative Bank started it, every bank is at it.
  5. Its funny, most large cars are found in dingy joints with fat waitresses by name Njeri or Wambui or whatefa, Ok thats point 1 still
There is one thing about talent and arts, they don't forgive! For example there is Angie Stone and then there is Beyonce. Getta what i mean, 2030 you might still be listening to Angie, Beyonce???

Now we all know that we give things to people we know most likely or those who live fantastic lives like ourselves.


Top on the list is your Truly Jeff, the Oduori in Big Brother 11. Somebody tell me we couldn't have done better. Everyday i meet new people largely interesting. Kenyans are by and large really funny you know what i mean. It could be from the circumcision songs after a few beers in the village or even sleeping in the valleys after a night out. Now seriously why did we deserve the humiliation of being ejected just shortly after Big Brother begins. Is it true that Mnet Kenya couldn't find a better person to represent our country peoples? I smell an Anglo leasing, it takes a moment to find out if one is fun whether or not they have written a book! Get my point

Then there was Valerie Kimani of Tusker Project Fame. We all watched Linda and Alvan in great admiration. The die was cast, Linda or Alvan. What did we get Valerie, she alright but she has a terribly weak voice at least mine is hoarse. Almost an year later, we are yet to hear from this gal apart from she has lost weight considerably. And what was to be lost, bones?? She must have told her family to buy so much airtime that she won that thing. I say again Sham! We were expecting miracles, good album we are humiliated once again.

Ruka juu, Banjuka tu life ni fupi na mi sijifungi. National anthem in Kenya. I mean talking bout Kisima Awards. What is the use of Kisima Sham Awards. Why do you waste so much money on such a significant show and then sham it!! We all know DNA deserved to win. We also know Nikki did not deserve to win over Nyota Ndogo. Jameni as she would say, who has the sweetest voice in Kenya. Nikki, Nyota Ndogo? It is not even a matter of debate. How now??

And again i say, arts is not forgiving, you are either with it or you are not.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Life is a paradox

I think about life a lot. The way things are and the way they should be and the way they are not. In standard two you had this feeling that you would the best doctor , you ended up being a bus conductor aiih this life.

Now there is this movie line i heard "everybody thinks he/she is a good kisser". True dat. Everyone hells think they are the best in everything. Of course excluding Archer who knows for real he can't dance. I mean thats a painful admission. Me i can't he he he i don't know. Its hard not to think you are the most beautiful, bright.

So this year is a bit funny for me. One of my best pals lost her brother. Its wuz one of the hardest things in my life i had ever had to cope with. You don't even know what to do. Cry, comfort. You think you are even being ignored. I mean transition is difficult. However people cope with it.

like now how do you explain. Some people think Kenya is run on auto pilot. Others think we have a great leader, me included. Yeah for all who love to hear, I am with Uhuru he he he. Rakini the way we dissed that man in 2002,i am a bit ashamed that we are together this time. I remember we were in campo and we would start the great debate of Uhuru Vs Kibaki and there would even be a moderator and we would eventually be thrown out of Wambugus for making so much noise. Ooh Uhuru is not a man enough (ya'll know what i mean, forgive me father)

And even that dude who kufed with Mo Amin, the alcoholic who swore he would never die from alcohol. And yeah i forgot his name, he crashed. He drank every single minute of his life and yep dude didn't die of cirrhosis. Nice bet. And others who get cancer and have never had a stick in their mouths or even known how it is to wake with a hangover.

Another thing i have discovered is you listen to nutritionists then you will never EAT. Mara eat carrots mara carrots are not good for your health. Chocolate bad, chocolate good. Alcohol bad, alcohol good. So what? Whats good, what's not.

Aaaiih me am out. Cybercash over.

Nice weekend

Sunday, September 09, 2007

figuring out

Sometimes you think you have everythn figured out. Just how you ar going to do somethng and how its gonna work you can even see it working.But then and again you are back to square one.

One day i went to the cyber having figurd out how i am going to print out some docs i was going to use in like 30 mins. This is the only cyber i can trust with my life, very reliable. All comps are full so i kept staring, pacing up and down like my company has declared losses and the share is going down by the second and then snooped at what people were surfing. One was on Yahoo mail, another one on and another one on doing all manner of searches. I was incensed. Here i was, with urgent document to print and these people were on basic websites. Now don't get me wrong, we all go to these websites. The one that got on my nerves was the one on hi5, gosh! he looked at every profile on the friends. It instantly made me swear not to ever visit hi5 again! I just imagined someone on the waiting list and i am on hi5, its not fair.

Anyway i am back to the same cyber. My shoulders are aching, last week was one of my busiest this year really, there is too much my shoulders can take. It reminds me of the saying weight on the shoulders.

I heard of this saying that internal beauty is overrated. I have never heard a truer sayin than that one . very few give a hoot about internal beauty, i know.

Lovely week