Friday, November 30, 2007

Tempting Michuki

Today we passed through the estate Michuki lives when coming to town. All Matatus from Thika Road were threatened during Michuki's tenure as minister of Transport that they would be shot if they tried to use that route. Now that the Government has taken leave of absence why not enjoy the traffic less Michuki Neighbourhood. 

If there is anything i love Michuki for is for saving young school girls. You know Conductors and Drivers used to dress so well that any school girl who at that age is concerned with the way a boy "ameng'ara" than anything else used to fall for these guys. And the young men would give them "raos" to and from town and then show them the ways of Kenyan love. Now he forces these young jamaas to wear plain maroon ugly overalls (coz thats what they look like) and no gal, school going or otherwise wants to look at them. Talk of killing two birds.

Now as usual any matatu driver knows that they cannot tune in to any other radio station that is not Classic 105. So i  was asking myself where is it that Maina gets all that energy in the morning. And so a lady asked him how comes he is always laughing and you know life is not all rosy and all. So he says something very important "If anything is not working in your life, Fix it or let it go".  I guess then thats it. Fix it.

Thursday, November 29, 2007


I feel sad writing this post.

Anyway, i was hanging out with my friend from the Luo community and as usual we came to the point where we part ways (me being a Kikuyu and he being a Luo). So what i learnt from him is though he didn't say it really openly was that his community think that we Kyuks are are to blame for so many

1. The Fish processing plant is in Thika and the fishes are in Kisumu (i didn't even know that)

2. Central province is so near Nairobi that all what they produce is bought in Nairobi thus increasing our income

3. Education was made expensive and hence Kikuyus because they have the money have been able to enrol in Private universities and Parallel degrees therefore 60% of all university attendees are Kikuyus

Anyway he won the argument because it is too much work arguing that infact it is Moi who has to blame for impoverishing all of us as a country. It dawned on me that someone must have worked very hard to convince an entire community to bedevil the "enemy".

Kyuks like all other Kenyans suffered economically during Moi's era, the only difference being our geographical advantage and other factors which i would be stoned for.

Central province is near Nairobi, so is Eastern Province and so is Rift Valley province.

I will not argue with anyone who believes blindly that Kikuyus do hold anyone's economic progress.

If you look at what Kampala has done with its lake then Kisumu would look like a sleeping giant. And these are Private Investments not public investments.

While i do agree with him that lack of infrastructure is the devil really because if they were speed trains he would be able to spend 80% of his income in Kisumu as he would travel daily to and fro. HIs argument is having to live in Nairobi predisposes him to renting a house in Nairobi which he says belongs to a Kyuk, the Mama Mboga is a Kyuk and even the Mat he uses to go to work is owned and the Makanga and driver are most probably going to be Kyuks. Damn!

I don't know but somewhere in my mind i have always thought Kenya is a capitalist country.

Nairobi Life

Today as i was coming to town from home, around the Globe roundabout, on the other side something had happened ( I don't know what) but everyone in my matatu was staring so hard  i laughed. So because sometimes i am unrestrained to talk, i almost asked my seat mate who was staring what had happened, only to realize that they too had no idea.
I miss Samantha Mumba, what happened to her?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

People think that i am stuck up

but thats really who i am- Lilian Muli in an interview with True Love
I don't know if this is a coincidence but i happened to meet her through a friend just recently for about 3 minutes or less. Stuck up no!
First when i read her interview that was last month i almost felt sorry for her. Who is that with guts to confess that people do not really like her or that she is lonely.
For those who know not of whom i am talking about, its our sexy KTN News Anchor (Prime time). So its not of main importance that i met Lilian Muli but because she said people don't like her, she finds it hard to make friends and the fact that i met her confirms that she has no capacity or capability to make friends or people to like her.
It takes no guess that Lilian tries very much to be sexy which works coz she is all dolly and with the weaves and anyway if people think you are the sexiest well me i Shiroh have no objection.
So anyway let me just tell you what happened........She was introduced to us and looked up just a bit and started whispering into her other known person (she has no friends so anyone she talks to is someone known to her). In a way to suggest you guys really i couldn't give a rat's ass (thats from M) who you are, i don't care to know your names and really i don't really care, you can go to hell, i mean you unimportant people, look here i am the Diva so really..........
And why have such an attitude then pretend people don't like you! I mean someone buy her a copy of Dale Carnegie's How to make friends and Influence people. You know what people many of them forget you coulda be at the top (or so you think) but don't think others are licking dogs to make a living, really!
Everyone is interested in themselves in the same way you are interested in yourself and the fastest everyone knows that the better.  i was disgusted by her demeanour and obvious childish behaviours, who whispers into anyone's ears anyone. Then some guys were calling her and she just walked past them (Total Diva).
To me being a News Anchor is something nobody should be proud about, i meet men of substance daily who go on their business without a "NOTICE ITS ME" attitude.


Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Britney Spears

Away with PNU and the DOMO
So me am a hugest fan of Britney. I totally do love Britney. So i am requesting the confused, drugged Britney to come to Kenya undrug and unconfuse herself.
I just wonder what is wrong with marriage
Look at Whitney Houston and her Bobby Brown. Whitney was a super diva back then, she moved many a man to dedications of her song " I will always love you"  over 101.9 Metro (hottest FM then ) at  10. Y'all old you do remember then?
Then now there is Britney. After her marriage to what's his name again, the gal has just been going downhill. Two babies in two years drove our Britney mad, absentee adulterous man capped it. She is stoned, shaven and gave the worst performance in this year's MTV, has even kissed Madonna (aiiich Brit)
Anyway i will introduce beloved Brit to where after a trip all over Kenya she will be singing her way to Awards. Who can sing Toxic and I am a slave for you to me again??
Then pop star Victoria Beckham, 3 boys within such a short span makes a woman's career dead.
I think marriage for many pop stars, divas can only compare to our own very black men to White women. I am thinking
Jeff Koinange and the scandalous that woman, whats her name
Cricketer Maurice Odumbe with his many white women who testified against him
Oj and his murdered wife
The list is countless.
Don't marry if you are female star
Black men leave white women alone


Anyway i also love the comedy "How i met your mother" and for those who know what i am talking about these are the killer quotes.

I am saying that my blog is Legendary!

Thursday, November 15, 2007


Excerpts from the Godfather
Film scholars and fans of the Godfather movies note what they believe is the symbolic significance of oranges in the films, suggesting that after the appearance of an orange in the film an important "death scene" follows. In the first film, Tom Hagen and Woltz negotiate Johnny's movie status at a dinner table with a plate of oranges on it, and Woltz soon discovers his dead horse's head; Don Vito Corleone is buying oranges from a fruit seller when he is attacked; Sonny drives past a billboard promoting Florida Oranges before he is attacked at the toll booth; oranges are placed on the table at the meeting of the Mafia bosses (and specifically in front of the ones who will be assassinated at the film's climax); and Don Vito Corleone dies while eating an orange, as he plays with his young grandson. Tessio is also seen peeling an orange at Connie's wedding. Carlo, who is responsible for Sonny's death, is wearing an orange suit when Sonny beats him up. In Part II, Fanucci grabs an orange from a stand just before he is murdered by Vito in the hallway of his apartment building. Michael is also seen eating an orange while in a meeting with Tom Hagen and Rocco Lampone, as they are planning the assassination of Hyman Roth, who is killed in the final scene.

Monday, November 12, 2007

This is what biased reporting is like

By Dennis Onyango

President Kibaki stole attention in Nairobi when he launched his manifesto. Orange Democratic Movement presidential candidate Mr Raila Odinga and his brigade shook the North Rift to consolidate support for the wholesome Orange a day after Steadman Group's reformatted poll showed ODM's fortunes were falling.


Never seems to stop amusing me. If i were his campaigners i would get a tape/DVD/VCD and label it "Presidential Comedy" and sell it. Preferably make it very expensive because it is not possible that one man could be so funny. Or better still Redkyullas could have Kibaki as himself, Tony Njuguna does not do it as Baba would.
Why do i say that. Juzi Baba Jimmy....angry at his rivals said " Kenya hii ya Nairobi...." Which Kenya of Nairobi is this???
Anyway i have been amused at this year's general elections. Being a Baba Jimmy fan, i had never ever thought that he could do pull a "IN the mud" campaign.
It started with the DOMO campaign and FANYA KAZI. That campaign is too fresh
Don't get me wrong, Raila's and Kalonzo's campaign make sense. Infact i love them especially Kalonzo's. I believe that it is possible for Kenyan; economy to run on 24 hours, i also believe we need reconstruction, In every sense we need a revolution. But To be honest the Men claiming to bring Kenya to Mercurial status are just not credible. I do not trust Mr. Odinga with Kenyan peace.
After the DOMO campaign is the unofficial biography of One Raila Odinga. It is funny, it claims the Man never went beyond KAPE and was bottom of class despite the fact he was 17 years and no secondary school could admit him. After that he went to Russia and did WELDING and came back to Kenya with a Masters in Eng. I don't think propaganda could go beyond that.
Anyway i have noticed with keen interest the number of young handsome Men in the race in Nairobi. Lets vote the most handsome of them all so that even if they do nothing, they will please us wit their faces everytime they appear on news. How well does the man from my constituency William Omondi compare with the young Marto? Or Mwenje with the one on the Bill board hapo karibu na Doonholm Caltex? Zero.
So vote wisely. Vote Handsome.
The only old (lacking in looks department) man allowed to the 10th Parliament is Baba Jim.