Friday, February 29, 2008

Scene @ the Hospital Bed

the man falls sick and this are the events that follow his hospitalization....
It is no secret that Kenyan Men rarely have one woman. There is bound to be the Mistress, Wife & others. Infact it would be a pleasure to find a man who don't have a secret love child who he bore within the realms of his current marriage.  Thus the marital bed is not the preserve of one. All these women think this is their man even with the full facts of his waywardness. Not that women are innocent but seeing we are talking about a man.
Woman 1 (wife) takes husband to hospital...takes him meals....comforts him and then leaves.
As she walks out, a hot woman who she prolly even looks at enters holding a bouquet of flowers no nothing, red hot lipstick goes straight to the hospital bed and gives the poor sick man a kiss (good stuff). lingers around then walks out and meets with a young thingie (maintained by the man)
young thingie most likely lives in Box and is only too happy to own a hot Nokia Phone and some trendy jeans.
Who do you think man is most happy to see?

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

the more things change.....

This happens in America too. 
Waah and they thought it only happens in Kenya. Condiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....what do you say?
Is Balala still King of the Coast, i highly doubt. His quest for Lesotho might not really succeed if this is the trend of a ..........LOSER.
Started here
Was lost here
Starting to have a last laugh.
And whoever does not know that politics is a dirty game need to stay out of it. Cry babies are not meant for this kind of game. Get out of politics my friend if you can't handle the Mad MAD, betrayal, dirty tricks put your adjective of choice here.....Up your game, if money is poured; pour more and more until your opponent gives up. Ala kwani these people did not read The Godfather.
Nigeria's president was reluctant to entertain Raila because ________________________
The last two weeks were progressive because_____________________________
As M once said this couintry runs on autopilot. Please Annan keep those people locked up for as long as you can. 

Thursday, February 21, 2008


I am have come from a stance of we won the elections to we need an all inclusive Government because really at the present; we were going to have a  heavily skewed Government which is seriously not a way to go until one Balala spoke
We are being pressured by our people; if the negotiations are not working, then we change the terms of reference of the negotiations to discuss boundaries then we reduce them to an island like Lesotho. They think ODM is desperate to get into Government.

I say
Mr. Balala when i protest against your words i am not protesting against the Muslim and whatever tribe you come from because i don't know it and i don't care.

Mr. Balala i do not think that Kibaki adds any sufurias to a Kikuyu Homestead that you think the position he takes has to be vindicated on the general populance. 
Mr. Balala Kikuyus are Kenyans
The beautiful people of the Coastal province rely on you for guidance; you are letting them terribly down.
You are a young leader who should be able to get out of the Geriatrics of the old and reason like a Kenyan.
Your people and the people of the language i speak are the same whether you believe it or not.
I think such statements should not be left hanging, its time we saw some action.  If your people Mr. Balala have a greater right than these people of the Island of Lesotho think again. You deal with Kibaki & Co. those are at your reach, if you can't deal with them you must not burden the Kenyans with your stupid rhetorics. Like we have not suffered enough already!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


he is saying
you idiots; you think this country is yours
think again..
fuck your constitution;
we are gonna tell you
this is how it is done
when you
and your opponent
you shake hands
and smile with us in your photos
While the rest of us think....
what the hell happened
what the fucking hell did happen
on that day?
you fucking don't know what happened
We your big brother
Decide what happened
Then give you a solution

Thursday, February 14, 2008


I love this woman for the simple reason that before her we WERE SCARED OF THE DARK AND she made us ADOPT A LIGHT.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Still wanna be me

even if my soul be empty
and my body be ugly
I still wanna be me
even when i am filled with stupidity
and i long for some creativity
and my soul longs for energy
i still wanna be me
while i wanna look at the mirror
and see a different picture
my eyes, my ears, my mouth
ooh my foot
I still wanna be me
even the way i dance
ooh how uniquely i twist
and jig
I still wanna be me
while i wanna hear of my achievements
even my failures be laid bare
I still wanna be me

Friday, February 08, 2008

Why did the chicken cross the road?



Read answers to the end

Matiba Ken - Let the pple decide. no short cut....

S. Kivuitu
- am not sure if the chicken crossed the road.The chicken keeper has disappeared with form 16A. Dont ask me again. You can shoot me if you want...

Martha Karua
- this is a legal matter that must be taken to the High court of the animal farm where the eagle is the judge. Thats the tradition

Orengo James
- its vital we first establish if the chicken crossed alone or was it accompanied with anyone,whom we've overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing

Mutula Kilonzo
- it depends upon your frame of reference to see if indeed the chicken crossed or  the road moved beneath it. You shud read all relevant chapters and not just conclude after reading only one chapter

Peter  Nyong'o
- it was looking for equity and social justice

Mutua Alfred
- the chicken never crossed the road. This is a complete fabrication. We dont even have chicken.

 (Lucy) - Mimi kama Rais.... najua jibu

(Police spokesman) - The scene must have been video edited to show the chicken crossing the road yet it was standing

- Haki  yetu!!

Kalonzo Musyoka
- it was expecting a miracle across the road

Mzee Moi
- Kuku gitu kani? Siasa mbaya,maisha mbaya

- had the chicken signed an MOU not to cross the road? Crossing the road is a two- horse affair. Anything else is a donkey!! Besides no one can stop the River Nile.....But if we cross the road as we did on 27th Dec,then we can invite the chicken back to the original side of the road. Raila na mpira.......gooooooaaal

- Kuku ilivuka palepale,ikienda huko hilo ndilo jambo la muhimu.......hakuna mambo hatuwezi kataa,tutakataa namna gani? Hakunaaaa!!! Na hao wanaendelea kuongea mambo ya wapumbavu......mavi ya kuku!!!

Kindergarten teacher
- to get to the other side

- for the greater good

- its the nature of chickens to cross roads

Karl Marx
- it was a historical inevitability

Martin Luther King
- ..........I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question

- The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

- The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity

- this was unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it

G.W. Bush
- we dont really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There's no middle ground

- asking this question denies your own chicken nature

Isaac Newton
- any chicken in the universe shall always cross a road perpendicularly and in infinitely long straight line at uniform speed unless it stops due to unbalanced reactive force in the opposite direction of the chicken's motion

Charles Darwin
- chickens over periods of time,have been naturally selected in such a way that they're now genetically disposed to cross roads

Nelson Mandela
- Never again,will the chicken be questioned for crossing the road. This is an ideal for which Iam prepared to die

Thabo Mbeki
- we need to establish if really there's a connection btn the chicken and the road

Bob Mugabe
- for all the years the road has been owned by white farmers,the poor underprivileged chicken has waited for too long for that road to be given to him n now he is crossing it in force with fellow war veteran chickens. We shall take over the road and give it the roadless chickens,so that they can cross it without fear of retribution from Britain. We will not stop untill all roadless chickens have roads and the freedom to cross them,even if hunger and 10,000% inflation bites them.




Bill Clinton: I did not have any relations with that chicken or that road. And for that matter, I did not inhale that chicken.

Arnold Schwazeneger: The chicken crossed the road to get to the chopper. Now everybody get down.

Wangari Maathai: Why do we have to cut all those trees to build one road for just one chicken to cross? Can it not cross a forest? Protest!
Museveni: We congragulate the chicken for having sucessfully crossed the road in a very close race.

British foreign office minister: We don't recognise this crossing. Both chickens took panya roots instead of sticking to the prescribed "straight and narrow".

EU observers: We weren't even allowed to witness the chicken crossing in some places, so this is null and void, and you can take that to the kitchen.

ODMer: Did anyone see a chicken crossing the road? All I saw was a chameloeon and horse racing, and as my kalenjin people would put it, a horse would never beat a chameleon in a race!

Kenyans: We demand that a free and fair road crossing race begins again

Thursday, February 07, 2008

PRO KENYAN anyone?

Our leaders have a very long way to go because they don't realize
ONE even if as (pray Kaparo) fire would consume all of them in parliament; KENYA would still go on.
KENYA was there, will always be there without them.
Even if we were not to have a president, KENYA would still be there.
It is not ABSOLUTELY a necessity that a person has to be a president (who doesn't want to be one anyway).
Why then do they continue acting like we absolutely owe our lives and peace and everything to them? Who gives them reasons to give each hardline positions to govern us. I guess what every Kenyan needs is to know they are safe not more wealthier. People have abandoned mighty lives and are now refugees in their own country.
We have designed a new name for the IDP'S (INTERNALLY DISPLACED PERSONS). Romantic name it might sound to their ears.
the word "ELECTIONS" sends shivers to many of our ears. I am even afraid of the US elections. So are many Kenyans. I wonder how many people would go and vote now. We spent 5 hours on long lines. We woke up at 5 in the morning to exercise what was called our democratic right or rather what we were told is.
How would we know peoples' agendas;
To get us out of the places we were living?
To make our country a hot mess
Did we get what we deserved. NO.
Would we have gotten what we deserved. NO.
I don't care what you blame it on. Land issues, stolen elections, Kivuitu, Kibaki... make your own long list.
Fact: there is always a way out, there has always been a way out and that is the way to look for. All we hear now are people bargaining for power and positions.
Annan's work is not to trash our institutions. That he won't do. And i bet he can't do it.
Can our leaders give us what we want.


Wednesday, February 06, 2008

the LENT

What do i give up for lent?
I will borrow from Mshairi and say i am giving up lent for lent.
I have thought;
Blogging [started this one in Feb 2005]
Inebriating liquids
A crush i have on someone
I think meat.


Tuesday, February 05, 2008

supporting- I HAVE NO TRIBE - I Am Kenyan

the best tailor i know is a Kenyan (I had to start with you!)
the best food i know is made by a Kenyan
the best driver i know but is also a Kenyan
the best friend i have is a Kenyan
the best lecturer i know is a Kenyan
and many other things.
The bottom line is these Kenyans are not of my tribe. I don't know what i would do without them.
 We cannot do without each other and that we need no expert to tell us!



View image detail
Just like my country a single individual has been deteriorating by the hour. From Grace to Grass.
I hope she gets to rock again!
This is a quote i read yesterday
Diversity defines the health & wealth of nations in a new century....Mighty is the Mongrel........They hybrid is hip.
On that note i think we are doing terribly badly as a country.

Monday, February 04, 2008


It is inalienable.
It is not to be taken away at the whims of a few.
It is not a carrot to be dangled to achieve political interests.
Peace does not come in colours; orange or blue
It is not right that a few people who of their own no fault should continue to suffer for said "justice with peace"
It is not their problem that we have no independent judiciary or an impartial ECK
These are kenyans working and living in their own country
Why then do they have to exchange their freedoms, their rights & liberties
What are they going to get in return
And do they want what is offered
Is that their choice?
Give them a chance to talk


Friday, February 01, 2008

tribal warfare-WHAT & WHY

Though i do believe that the election flared up the current ethnic crisis, i also do know and have a conviction that it did not cause it.
Hate Speech did it!
And all this started at the National Referendum that was done in 2005. When the campaigners went round giving people the ills of the Constitution that was to be which IMO was not the best document but far better than what we currently had. They were peddled with information
That certain communities would go and take their land once the constitution was passed.
An even better information was that the Nyumba of Mumbi was threatened if that constitution did not pass.
When the verdict was finally No to the New constitution Kenyans were told ok and this is something i heard not was told on National Television
"You have triumphed against the enemy"
While in 2002 parties came together to vote against Uhuru.  Parties such then as was culminated into A Rainbow called Narc Government. Cracks soon emerged before we could change our pair of shoes. You have shortchanged us they cried! 
Fast forward to 2007....
Kenya Vs GEMA was formed. A tribal leader was formed from every community
Ruto -Kalenjins
Balala-Coast region
Ngilu- to influence the Kamba vote
A lot of emphasis went to personalities who commanded a tribal following.
Note the Luo, Luhya & Kalenjin are some of the major tribes in Kenya. With this kind of arrangement a sure victory was guaranteed.
Numbers matter in politics.
Within 5 years we had switched from parties to personalities.
What with the other side of the divide;
They did nothing to ease/undo that situation. They told their people
"All we need to do is vote in large numbers"
If almost all of us vote we are going to win.
So we were stuck there.
The large numbers vs the conglomeration of tribes.
No one can decide who won.
Suddenly every one felt a need to identify/align themselves with their tribal leader. It became obvious that if you were tribe X you most probably supported one party.
While there is nothing essentially wrong with identifying with a tribal leader there is something wrong with hate speech. We did emails/forwards/leaflets chastitising another tribe. Nobody is innocent.
The truth is a president is not a president of a tribe.
Budgetary allocations are done and approved in parliament. It is foolhardy and destroying to convince people that all their ills exist because of a tribe. There is one thing i know, unless we all wake up and decide our destiny nobody in power will do it for us.
Politicians exist for self. And no time has it been clear than now.
How does killing a member of community X forward your community's agenda.
It is our Members of parliament who have brought us down. They refuse to shape the country when in parliament but during campaign time use the same inefficiencies that we could be having to create hate amongst the people.