Saturday, December 30, 2006

Village folktales & other stories

I have travelled to 3 villages over the last 5 days and so i speak with authority.

In the village, darkness falls.

In the village, when it rains, it pours

The jogoos of the village crow at 6 while those of the city crow at 4. Ubaguzi hapo

Anyway i wish i could give you all the tales.

I hope you all had a jolly Merry Xmas, thanks for your kind messages.

So i have realized Ali Makwere and his folks at the traffic department should all be fired.

It seems that the drivers of the matatus have just discovered the meaning of the word "Speed Thrills". I swear only the God can protect our poor souls at their hands.

Well, just to wish a Happy Productive New Year. I will pray for you all.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Happy holidays

Its been a bit friggn long since i blogged. I haven't lost any mojo but yours truly has no connection of any kind even a Safcom one ingalau to blog as i sleep. Anyway as Nyota Ndogo would say "Mambo yanavyokwenda kombo"or something sorta.

I am fabulous, free, brighter and broke!

Obviously not as fu**ed up as a High School teenager who is not only is pregnant but the mother is the chairlady of Mothers Union or the Guild and the father the chairman of Chama cha Wanaume kanisani. I guess thats worse so i am brilliant.

The only thing though is i feel like an empty brain, do they call them derelicts. Like i only respond to
1.There is a bash ats......

2. We be hooking up at ....

3. It coulda been shopping at but refer to bright and broke comment above

And nothing beats a Free December ever!!! Not in Kenya or rather in Nairobi. Wachana with all those clowns wearing some funny santa...kofias at Kenchic to emphasize its Xmas. I so friggin know its Xmas. What?

If i could i could quit every December i could but none the only wiser. Like saving 6 months expenses as Manyara Kirago says every Saturday. If you don't know who that is consult your Saturday nation. Like who doesnt know they should save their 6 months expenses. Look my expenses are all my salary. So like how? No!! i am kidding.

Like Infidelity in Nairobi

I guess it is official. The Nairobian men/women are like the Hollywood Wives & Husbands as described by Jackie Collins. I mean you know she says "show me a married man and i will show you a man whos willy looks everywhere but to the wives"

So there is this buzzted talks, some sort of public investigator stuff. Ingalau private investigator only announces that your ass is being cheated on in private, this one does it on Radio and in the morning. It is not funny hearing a man over 25 years of age saying "Its over" after hearing a chic sayin the boyfy is called "Steve" and the girl saying "ooh Steve is my ex" He he he. Thats the stuff Nairoberry is made of Unfaithful men & Women.

Apart from that i have been told that Shiku of Easy FM is no presenter. And that Sanaipei Tande should concentrate her efforts in singing and leave Radio to the Connoiseurs.

Project Fame
I had thought of writing something like "Negativity for hire, contact Ian Mbugua"

I am still not convinced that Valerie Kimani won the Tusker Project Fame Award. Lemme tell you ati because it was so widely thought that Alvan is gay, he couldn't win it.
So whats the fuckinfriggin problem with some people. So if Alvan is gay, he can sing. He was better that Valerie bite me!

Celtel Vs Safaricom

I remember doing something on this two. This time Celtel does it with 16/= per minute to any network.
If Safaricom is not going to do something, it might as well kiss the words 12 billion goodbye. The fact that it made so much cash has caused so many a bad blood while sucking us to an early poverty grave with its exorbitant charges.

A sprinkle of politics
Like politics in Kenya and maybe else where is preserved for the very worst. If you don't believe me
Ndura Waruinge
Paul Pattni
Are all persons who should be barred from holding any public office whatsoever. Reliable sources say once Mungiki always Mungiki.


Merry Christmas. Buy me that Pink Cadillac.

Ooh Happy holidays.