Tuesday, April 28, 2009


"shudders at the thought of the headline"
I am a self confessed modern independent woman and tired out of being misunderstood; but in my opinion (thank God for freedom of speec!) this is about some of what i think. My lists here i come
1. The word is Independent. I don't need to define independent. Ok for those who still don't know
(a) I need something, i get it. Don't be surprised to hear i got something without your knowledge. I had a lot of problems with my dad, because he just couldn't understand how i went, opened my bank a/c without his knowledge and i was 19. The reason a woman gets past primary school, secondary school then to university means she has some of those killer instincts men have. They need something, they get it. Understand our "man ego" to get our own stuff. It doesn't mean you are any less superior or not needed. As Ne-Yo would say A woman who wants you but doesn't need you.
If you still don't get it, tune to Kiss 100fm, a song played by the minute
Miss Independent- Neyo
2. We hardly understand the male ego and why it needs to be pampered. Thankfully, there is a book on this one lately. Would never have figured on our own and anyway there are so many men to remind us of the fact. My male colleagues are experts on this matter.
3. When we read "He is just not that into You" we felt like tossing it on the dust bin. We probably know that you are just that not into us...But independent women with that instinct still doesn't want to lose. That is the main reason we keep on..especially if the opportunity for good sex looks promising. Other than that it is for ego satisfaction.
4. We did well in school, we do well in our jobs, we start to think we can do well in everything. We still think we can fix your career, job, home. Lynette of Desperate Housewives struggles to keep a healthy balance between what a woman is meant to be and the fact that she is smarter than her husband.
5.If we don't know how to fix a tyre, a bulb ( you are kidding me right) or those other things, we will learn it and from someone who knows it better than you. A mechanic perhaps. If  only you could understand. Sometimes we pretend we can't fix the bulb just to appease that famous male ego
6. We understand you hate smart women and you will keep saying demeaning things to hurt us. This i have gone through. It's not my fault i happened to read a lot of books (that makes one smart?) and especially where you are as read as i am, it's just plain weirdo traditional shame on you thinking. It's sick!
7. Learn to live with us. Less demanding.
8. We don't think the world revolves around men. Why don't you just live with it. Many traditional women think that life is all about their men, which is what probably God intended it to be in 1652 before he made us smarter (even God changes his mind) yeah like you have not seen children are born with their eyes wide open these days! But really we love you. That's it. But you don't have the last word on everything.
9. We love you as you are. For reals. We will even buy you a watch to show it!
10. We don't get the part that a woman cannot have platonic male friends.
11.When we meet a man, we assess him on very many levels. Providing for us is not one of those, this we can figure out. We look at your ability to say the truth, your family members, how our children might look and your ability to sustain conversation on various things.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

GAL CODE part 1

1. Don't touch/flirt/call/text and other insane variations of looking interested;
(a) Your gal's boyfriend (No brainer)
(b) Your gal's ex- Unless you meet in the next life
(c) Your gal's love interest.
When it is a matter of life, death or purgatory.. I mean she must have asked you to call him.
2. Don't drink
(a) and pass out. It's embarassing unless you are 18-21 years of age
(b) make insane accusations towards everyone like he touched my butt and begin fighting
(d)flirt with everyone
3. Badmouthing your gal
It is incredulous that most chics find it extremely amusing and entertaining to air their best gal's laundry to their boyfriends, all and sundry.Your gal shares with you because she trusts you. If you share it, you deserve a place next to Akinyi and Wanjala i.e. in an Indian Jail 
4. Thou shall never leave your gal's handbag behind. Unless there is a fire.
5. When your gal argues with her man
(a) Shut- Best option
(b) Smile and hope the argument will go away
(c) Commence a phone call
(d) Look away as if to call the waiter
Thou shall not
(a) Pitch in
(b) Support either. When you have to; support your gal, common sense
(c) Support the guy. Never