Friday, March 28, 2008

the pain of the lovelorn

I can besure many people have been lovelorn at some point of their dating life.

     adj : unhappy in love; suffering from unrequited love [syn: bereft,

this is when you expect that the love you give will be returned but instead pain is all you feel.
That's the story of my friend. His girlfriend (or ex) is the total b.

I wonder why people find it easy to tear up somebody's self esteem by criticizing everything they do. The girl expects the guy to go out of his way, fetch her from wherever she is and worship her basically but won't do anything in return. The worst part is the guy is totally in love with her and he thinks he can't do without her. He says they have fought many times and made up but he is admitting he is now totally fed up with this chic.

I won't though be surprised if they are back together before i can battle my eyelid.

She tores into his everything, his eating habits, his driving, his dressing!!!

I told him though no one rides your back unless you bend and that is something i believe in completely. I would never let anyone tear into my self esteem. If you think i am not totally enough for you the way i am, why should i keep dragging you in my life.

Love is a difficult issue to deal with because it is something one barely understands anyway. So i ask him if there is anything that girl does that is so wonderful when she is not tearing into his life, he was at pains to explain!

He tells me she throws drama, embarrasses him in front of people and has made a hobby to cause drama even in front of his friend.

And that is not even the first friend i have had who has been mistreated like that. This dude had to deal with this mama who never stopped to remind him how lucky he was to have her! I once met her throwing tantrums at him on the street and i was so embarassed that i just passed the dude because i didn't want him to realize that i had noticed he was being harassed on the streets. Thank God he was finally able to get out of that relationship. And you know what was most interesting is that mama kept bugging him to take her back.  He never looked back!

If i was this dude i would take the nearest bata shoes and run for dear life!


  1. I also once had a friend who went through the exact same thing. There are simply some women who love and are excited by drama and problems. The interesting thing is how a lot of these women can become so docile when confronted with a stronger (not necessarily physically) woman or man. Your friend derives some sort of pleasure from the drama -perhaps he enjoys being a victim or always being right or something- maybe he just needs to find a woman who gives him what he needs in a healthy manner.

  2. Being whipped is a bad bad thing, it makes people put up with treatment they wouldn't were they in their ordinary senses.

  3. I agree that the dude needs to walk away, like fast. No need being in a relationship where one is treated in that sort of way. Love should result in people feeling good about themselves and their partners, accepting them for who they are, and making them feel the best way possible.

  4. Mambo ya love and mistreatment, be it physical, emotional or mental have left me speechless.
    Doctor Phil says "you teach people how to treat you" he also says "people will continue in a behavior/relationship because it is working for them at some level. The minute it stops working they stop the behavior or relationship.

    I am 100% in agreement with both statements.