Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Trust Issues

I do not know much especially about trust.

There is one common trend i have realized as i do my daily professional job(s).

Kenyan men do not trust their wives with their properties the way they trust their brothers and friends. These are the common reasons given;

As soon as she realizes she will leave me.

If i bequeathe property to her then she will get married to someone else after i die.

Most: You know you cannot understand women

I seldom understand how you can share a bed with someone every day of your life (who could stab you at night, ok for y'all old enough The Burdens by John Ruganda never cease to haunt me) but not trust the same with your property. How? Life/Property???

So now i have been left wondering, why do people even get married in the first place, if they will live the rest of their lives wondering what this other person is upto. Granted some women read Akinyi of Chinedu have given us women a bad names but what are the consequences of leaving your property to your brothers/friends?

Or at even the worst of them never letting your partner not know how much property you could be having or how much you are worth?

I think it is in bad taste to leave your partner out of your life, because eventually most brothers do as they would (human as they are) disinherit your widow. Worst case scenario being your children being reduced to derelicts. Many people know of a story where the pops left the children living in the suburbs but had to pack to the slums.

Men in Kenya accumulate so much debt on the property they have and sometimes even the house his family is living in is on debt. When he certainly (didn't they say death is certain) dies his family is kicked out the following day. Not even the partner knows that the man owed a mountain of debts. This had direct effects on the family and on the society as a whole. We all know adjusting from the suburbs to the slums is not easy and could never be.

In my opinion, a lot is needed to be done on the property front as far as estate planning goes, Kenyans are doing badly.


  1. Good thing is that women are now getting up and making some cash on their own. and there are now many groups and organizations with the good will to promote businesses for women.

    Imagine living in debt and you're not aware! When the jamaa dies that's the time you're learning of loans and other debts - even debts in the local pub you're left paying! Too sad.

  2. its selfish to hide money from your spouse, if worried then put the money in a trust for the children which shall take care of their upkeep and their school fees, methinks...

  3. I have met the kind of women who make men hide money and their salaries from them. Money hungry hags who think since they are married to the dude they can run his financial life irregardless of his opinion.
    But this is not all women. I think as long as one asseses his wife and sees them as trustworthy one should of course let her into his financial world.
    But I also believe in the forming of trusts and writing of Wills and making sure the lawyer is a reliable one to administer the estate alongside with family members from both sides.
    So in an ideal situation, the spouse should be part of the equation. But I do know where some of those men are coming from after hearing and seeing things that have happened.

  4. Lol Acolyte. Ati money hungry hags. Anyway it's true there are some around.