Tuesday, November 11, 2008

you would like to punch these people on the back of their head

The slow walker who occupies most of the street
Have you ever been like really in a hurry to get to wherever it is is you are going then a guy moves slowly to every side that you are trying to pass through. Ok, maybe i am exagerrating, but the point is, in the Nairobi streets, you walk in a huff like you are going somewhere because even the petty thieves mistake slow walk for being new in town.
Newly in love..there is something about love that makes you slow in everything, you talk, move, walk more slowly daydreaming about what he/she said in the morning.
You are carrying a very heavy load or rather you are walking slowly because the weight on your shoulders is just too much to bear. That could include you have just been fired, your newly in love partner just walked out on you or rather those things that make life rather depressing. But all the same try to let people pass or you could find a new reason to get yourself off the floor.
Ngoto 1-to wake them up
The drunkard

Though i believe viceroy solves all gastro intestinal problems (how did i write that?), and Kafai agrees with me, i cannot stand the drunkard. Drunkards piss me off because sometimes they piss on themselves, hit on everyone jointly and severally, talk foul, make the toilet unihabitable with vomits and generally behave badly.
You are paid to entertain. How can you perform in Liddos and be sober?
Everybody is drunk and throwing up! It's a drink and throw up party.
Ngoto 5
your Ex
Not all your exes should be punched just the one in this scenario
You walk into the club with a guy you are a quarter feeling, then you met the Ex smashed kama kawaida. He starts calling you wifey as he proceeds to touch you and ignoring the date you have come with (looking sideways to see how many people are judging me).
Add to the list is this random guy who you know and acts all sloppy in love when you meet in the club **SMH***.
Ngoto 10
The Thika Road Matatu Driver
Either these guys are fucking geniuses or aboslute retards. Sometimes i actually enjoying watching these guys drive, it's like the speed movie only this time there are real humans in the matatus not movie stars. The reason i think of some ingenuity in there is coz the situations those guys pull bana. All the same they still get punched for exposing us to regular heart beating.
Mental note, if you are a novice on Thika Road, put aside money for dents et al.
Ngoto 20


  1. I dislike aimless drunkenness. I am not saying I have not done, but I am definitely not proud of it. I just can't tolerated it..That is how people loss their respect. Trust me I know!

  2. As a woman, my #1 turnoff when it comes to men is drunkeness. My interest in a man can go from 80% to zero after watching and hearing him slowly deteriorate mentally with each alcholic drink until I hardly recognize him. I totally lose respect

    Drunk women who can't control their behaviour just make me feel sorry for them. I have female friends in their 30s who still don't know their alcohol limits and wonder off to night club car parks to throw up...right next to the 18 yr olds. Although they are financially independent they still get terribly excited by any strange man who offers them a drink.

  3. Matatu drivers! Ok, I personally think they have very precise timing of when to get infront of you. The problem comes when you deny them that opening and you get hit. They have this mentality that those with private cars made it already and hence not in a hurry to make more. They are very wrong on this one. Everyone is in a rush. Its a dogs world!

    Slow walkers! I couldnt put it better. How about those who suddenly bend over as you walk? Come across one? I have make matters worse a woman!

    Those who cross the road with the lights red with on coming cars and then walk in a 'dont worry be happy mode'

    First time around and I like your style of writing. Keep the posts coming

  4. Guys come to Msa you'll run completely bonkers! Slow walking is the order of the day! By 7.30 the sun is so up and the place is hot like hell. You try to rush and by the time you get to your destination you're dripping wet. And I mean that literally. Now if you had some make-up on it's washed away by the sweat. If you've pakad some not so good quality then it streaks with the sweat and you look a horrid sight.

    God forbid that you're going for a meeting and you arrive with your shirt stuck to your back ehehehe.

    Matatu drivers lets just say I understand why Pof. Obel felt obliged to open fire. They can tempt you to that extent. Sometimes they work so so hard to overtake you only to then stop right in front of you. eish.

    The drunkards yeah. There's something ugly about a full grown man looking all mushed up and silly. Now if he's your man it's worse!