Monday, April 10, 2006

Compatibility or lack thereof

Confession: Blogger block has caught up with me. So i am struggling to write this post.

My friend is dating this sweet man. As a matter of fact it is a guy i like as a person. He does all the right things. I am sure he cannever forget her birthday, will throw in bunches of roses at the right time. Will stop everything if she said come and come now. He is a good person so to speak.

I am sure you are wondering and so what is the problem? I for a long time thought thattheirs was a match in heaven. I mean i have a bad habit of dating people who don't treat me well. But there is trouble in that house. And this trouble is sheer lack of bedroom skills.

Leading to the first equation

Good Boyfriend= Bad Lover


Good girlfriend= Bad Lover

If you are a good mathematician you might wish to extrapolate the equation and see what you get.

And it is such a problem that she is even considering a break up. I feel compelled to tell her not to break up with him but there is nothing i can do. The lack of this compatibility is a big problem.

I am sure there are many guys who have also experienced such kind of shidas with their good mamas. So often while we may all wish for this goddess,, it doesn't always happen.

And when i read this post though the writer could not understand why women are attracted to him when all he does is hurt them.Truth be told, sexual compatibility is crucial for a good relationship. And that is why women will keep going back to guys like that guy who keep hurting them.

This brings to my conclusion that you cannot have everything. I am not saying I will strut the Paris catwalk before you can get a good boyfriend and a good lover and vice versa. No infact some people I know have had both.

I had this mama friend, the chic is supa dupa fly (is there such a word) as in curves right places. Then she is going out with this dude who is not all that but he is a good man in her opinion. Then dude will once in a while talk about his ex. The way she is sluty and all that. But at the end of the day dude rudianas with this sluty ex to her peril. Good girl lost again.

So what happens with these good people? Do you help them work on their inferior bedding skills. Do you go ahead and marry them after all we are oftenly told “marry a man/girl you trust”. Can you live with 30+ years of a bad lay? You know it can be hurting to be told “aiii Shiroh, your kanyangain skills are wanting”.

If you were in my pal’s (being a gal or a jamaa ) position, what would you do?

Breaking News:

Plane crash

Rumour has it that it has killed 4 MPs, among them a Brilliant lawyer


  1. Si she pitias Bookpoint and buys him a copy of Karma Sutra?

    Relationships always have a hook. It may be sex, security, acceptance etc.

    So long as someone cannot find that hook elsewhere the will always return to a troubled relationship...

    LOL at “aiii Shiroh, your kanyangain skills are wanting”.

    Despite being the "after" model for enhancement ya kabati??

  2. The truth is, opposites attract. Pity it has to be the rule on relationships as well, though.

    About marrying the good guy/girl, they say passion will die. Question is, how soon? If my need for a good companion is likely to outlive the passion stage, then I would by all means marry the good guy.

  3. typical kenyans...
    ati "first here!!! yay"..
    go hang!
    were u expecting a miracle for being the first to comment on someone's

  4. LOL tis a real dilemma.

    Strokage is very improtant obviously, but do you throw the baby with the bath water? That's why I've always semad someone should fungua a sex school in Nai.

    Your buddy needs to have a no holds barred convo with the guy. She can invite one of those "Aunties" to give them tips and such.

    Let us know how it goes?

  5. Errm, Shi, I think the secret to being in the relationship you desire is actually Knowing what you want. The minute you do not know who you are or what you want, that right there is a recipe for disaster, And when you know what you want, you will never settle for less.

  6. @Wangu, welcome take a seat.

    Consequences of marrying the good guy of course might catch up with you. Balance is needed

    @Milo,Will try talking her into it.

    @Modesty, feel free to jump here first and do a jig. You can't do anything about KBW customs like i am first here.
    If you cant beat them, join them

    @ms k, it is a real dilemma. You see the guy doesn't even realize he has a problem. And mo' it is hard to hurt good guys by telling them b/room skills wanting.

    LOL at "having sex school in Nairobi"

    @KM,hey you! About knowing what she wants. He is a good boyfriend. It is just that strokage is not enough.

  7. hello. been a long time...

    blogck: a good name for blogger's block.

    a good boyfriend who is a lousy lay? isn't that an oxymoron?

    what if she teaches him the skills? i imagine that will be good fun for both, if they are open-minded and adventure-seeking enough.

    it's better than hooking up with a moron who lays her well.

    in my opinion.

  8. solution is to get some on the side.

    But the "correct" answer it to train him, which is tough to do to an african male.

  9. the dude is def. comparing the chik to his ex.
    he could be a prolific hunter, only that the game doesnt interest him.

    his mind is loaded with the mind-blowing sex he got from his ex,hence his current shortcomings.

  10. Ala Shi! Strokage is part and parcel of 'what I want'.

    he! Tena sana

  11. Update 6 MPs dead, total 15 persons... sad indeed.
    There is always the middle ground. Trade one good thing for another not too good one.
    @bankelele African males are always willing to learn ways of maximizing pleasure.

  12. educate the dude....thats what I say!

  13. School the bratha kweni?

    You writers block? cammon now Shiroh, zii

    Have a lovely week!

  14. a sad day indeed.
    two brilliant lawyers who served this country wholeheartedly.

    i have lost my MP. Yea Mirugi Kariuki, the mp for nakuru town was really a brilliant leader. In as much as politicians piss me, he was one leader who served his country with all his heart. he will surely be missed by nakuru.

  15. If i was th e dude there's only 1 thing to do
    I mean it does make perfect?
    and even if it doesnt, wouldnt hurt!!!

  16. Can a chick enlighten me on what they term good strokage. Explain it to me like am 2 years old,coz being gay, our idea of good sex is way so different.

    Am just curious...

    out of curiousity..... how do you do it? i shudder at the thought of all that pressure...
    i give up.

  18. Hey gal ur blog has been packing me when am trying to comment.

    Tell your friend to educate the bratha and ifhe doesnt nyita anything in class then she should not withstand bad kanyangation(K.M and Gish)

  19. They should talk about it, watch instructional material (Ahem!) and then do what they need to do. If he's such a good dude, he'll learn. Afterwards if the fellow doesn't improve its time to determine how high sex is on her "must-have" list and make a decision. The easy part is the decision-making. The hard part is the execution.

  20. Kritik,

    Am not gay coz no Nairobi chick could rock my world!!(....eesshh I will excuse your ignorance) seriously though, yes.... Nairobi has cute mamas and there are times one wishes they were str8 and understand mainstream society; what with all the hate and pressures. But that just the way things are.

    How do I do what? You will be suprised that a lot of us are in serious, comitted and monogamous relationships with other men.

  21. @Mudskippah, welcome back.
    I agree with you, sometimes you are better with a nice man who is not a moron

    @banks, i cant believe that you said that. Yeah some men are dumes telling them that they are wanting is a bit hard you know

    @kritik, wacha kumtetea

    @KM, i hear you msichana

    @prousette, yeah the schooled ones and i use schooled in its most elastic form

    @fgal, Amen

    @Poi, yeah that was a blogger blocked post.

    @tomas, come here my under 18 for a hug. but he doesn't know about the wanting of strokage skills

    @GNM, i will email you.

    @kritik, just leave GNM alone. If he likes it that way. And again me and him share the same interest; Men.

    @GNM, don't worry, it is a homophobic society so i guess perceptions will never change as fast as you want

  22. Call me hard and crude but it seems that women run roughshod over nice men.You have to have an element of harshness and steel with many chics nowadays.Good guys finish last!

  23. To tell you the truth, i abhorr men who treat women badly. If you are a good guy stick to it, you will get a woman who appreciates being treated well, Bad boy image is purely for players