Tuesday, April 11, 2006

OF PISCES AND ESCAPISM

Ok I read somewhere that Pisces are poetic, moody and escapists. Gosh! Hard truths those are. The fortune teller was right!!

Escapism Anonymous (Therapist Session)

My name is Shiro escapist. Yeah you idiot you are such an escapist (conversation with self) whispering so that the other escapist idiots do not hear me. I have been an escapist probably since I was zero.

I can imagine them listening to such stories

My mum had a very difficult birth i refused to dive into the world. How complicated I refused to turn down, I stood up. Gosh gosh slaps self. I wanted to escape the world. Probably I wanted to jump out through the mouth instead of squeezing down…ok I can’t say that. Call me an escapist, it started there.

Keguro, Ms K and all the other Pisces I know are listening carefully to see if they inhabited such like habits. Luckily they didn’t.

Come to think of it, the only reason my mum never beat me after I turned 8 is because she never caught up with me. I could escape only to find my lil sis has been whipped like no nonsense. I could even sleep at my cuzos to avoid the thwacking or wait until my dad comes and I slip into the house pole pole tu. Poor woman!!!

As you guessed it my dad never chapad me for the same reason catching up with me was/is a daunting task. Poor lil sis aki the beating she has gone through coz of my escapist habits. No wonder she is so thin!

And it doesn’t end there. I am a total escapist upto this day.

Picture this

There was this guy I thought we were going out (read KM on this topic). Actually I was totally taken by the Giriama boy vibaya, I could have fed on love. I didn’t actually think there was a possibility it could be otherwise.

So one day I walked into the club with a pal of mine (God bless her). So we hang out kidogo. Then guess what the Giriama boy walks in kidogo I am seeing some babe nyuma. Ooih sweet heavens! Santa Maria SPELL H.E.A.R.T.B.R.E.A.K.

Boy sees me (my God he had such a sexy Kiswahili voice and his jokes mamamy..ook I digress kidogo) comes over, says hi and guess what boy says “tutaonana” . since when “tutaonana kitu gani?!!. Gosh I remember clearly “you wore a red sweatshirt and blue jeans”.

Anxiety, pressure rises, incoherent speech, I lost faith in mankind till today.

So anyway he goes, hangs out with babe, I see them laughing, whispers, let’s dance.

Enyewe let me tell you this was my longest night. Yaani usiku mrefu.

So what do I do; I just chill with my chic pal with her boyfy. I didn’t confront to ask ati is how that babe. Me and my escapism cant allow. Luckily is like some pretty boys know when I am in shidas.

So a pretty boy came and we talked (ofcourse he could see my concentration was zero) and my other Giriama boy was a bit jealous (my point ofcourse). As in I could be ported in escapism and taken to Bahamas but never accept to face the truth. Todate I have never known who babe was at least from him, I cannot ask. Later a friend told me of the Giriamas boy and his slutty ways.

You know what it took me another 3 years to even date another man. I took to full flirting and just men hanging around me (yaani somewhere in a kadistance) but never in my life. It worked perfectly for me; until one day I realized I could not live like that.

So warning to all those who send me messages with sexual overtones. I simply do not respond to such because I cannot deal with having to tell you I am not into such messages from you. I escape, in short! Or I am not ready to engage into that kind of activity so I will not encourage you. I digress from the session.

Let me admit, I am the kind of people who drink to avoid stress. If you see me drinking every day just know I am escaping from stress. I cannot afford to be sad, no I will escape to happiness (trust me). Only of late will you see me dull for real.

I don’t deal with issues; they somehow go away. I don’t confront my friends to ask them why they did these or whatever, it simply fades away to oblivion. I will be cold but that is it, once it is over, it is over..and that is simply me.

Session to be continued……….with confessions from other pisces escapists….