Thursday, June 22, 2006

Say what?

Madge Swindells is my fave woman writer of late. I don't need to read any more
of her books to discover this. I especially love summer Harvest. If you wondering what to read next then wonder no more.

Moreso i saw her books at Ksh. 150 at Books First. I guess they didnt know the value of books. Summer Harvest is a 1983 book so i guess you know the books is quality not the ones they write these days.

So today I have nothing to write but to avoid blog menopause, I have to keep writing.

So this weekend was fathers day or so Prousette declared (google searches indicates a date in March). So I could have wished my father a happy one but you see he was not in town for a business deal. That is the story of his life. I love my father,.i have always done. When I was a bit small I went with him to the show alone. So were the good memories when we ingiad the then deacons and I insisted I wanted a half petticoat. The reason being my cousins were telling me that only children wear full petticoats. So I needed to feel like an adult and wear half ones.

So when I was a child my father & I had a perfect relationship. Better part was when I went to school, I was always number 1, 2, that made him immensely proud of me and to that a trip to visit my aunty was organized. Such are the days I don’t remember sleeping. My aunty lived in Mombasa. I was excited,.truth be told.

Somewhere along the way my dad lost interest in us. He would be away for long periods. I never understood then until I was in Standard Seven, Eight. I guess he started his philandering ways then. Nothing more,.a dad who used to talk to us with so much with respect started shouting. So it started then we would be afraid of him to the extent that when he came home, we would all go to sleep. He became violent so much it was getting to us. Needless to say he never hit me even once reason being I was him mother technically and you never beat your mother. The rest were never spared.

I saw him hit my mother once; many countless times, throw the food to the wall I don’t know for what reasons. Pack his bags saying his clothes are not been washed properly only to come again with them after probably been thrown out.

I do not wish to continue with this post. I already feel depressed.

Anyhow these days after my mother left he is trying to be nice. He is not violent any more; he actually sits down with us,.adores my small brother. We even sit down and laugh many times.

I always feel the need to be independent because I know much as men can be good they can be as destructive. Not the least to say I abhor violence.

A new bout of depression has hit.


  1. Awwwww, Shiiiii

    (SHIRO)- That is a really really tight one. A real tight hug that say "Such is life. You are more than fine. alright?".

    LOL, let me tell you why I am laughing...its menopause start with books, then digress to Dad....aiii, ok.

    Tsk Tsk.

    Wacha I send you a mail.

  2. "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.Exodus 20:12 (New International Version).

    Pole shiro no need to be depressed God say trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. its something i am learning even with other bloggers i cant asume that my worldview is similar because we are products of different experiences .anyway cheer up am sure your dad is a good man nobody is perfect but we will get there someday

  3. pole sana! i always hope that even in the worst of moments, you come out with some good lesson to pass onto someone else, or use to make your life even better!

    Say NO to depression!

  4. It's really sad that things took such a sudden turn to the worse. The good thing is that you once experienced his goodness and so it's not ingrained in you that men are assholes, excuse my language, as the feminists try to portray them.

  5. Must have taken a lot of strength to write this!

    Wishing you all the best...

  6. Hey gal!This is a deep post that must have taken alot of guts to write.
    At least your dad is trying to mend bridges.Have a good day.

  7. Pole for the pain you feel. I do hope your relationship with your father gets restored fully. It looks like he is making an effort to ammend his ways.

    Father's day is indeed celebrated third Sunday of June, with mother's day the second Sunday in May (at least here in the US).

  8. Kairetu, those are very painful and difficult things you've talked about here. I applaud you for your courage. I know what reliving such incidences takes out of one.

    Take a deep breathe and refuse to drown in the misery of the past. Think instead, or the promise of the future.

    You still have a chance to create a sort of relationship with your father. But first yuo must let the pain go.

    I wish you all the best in your journey my friend.

  9. I echo milo...virtual hug,tiramisu and hot chocolate with baileys ala spicey!!

  10. Yikes I sounded like a shaman! Creepy!

  11. {{{{{shiroh}}}}}}}}}}}
    my dear pole that you had to see that happen yet am proud that you have come to be a strong independent woman. Dessp post and yes have faith God is able.

  12. Shiroh dear.......... {{{hugs}}}.... be strong!!!!!

  13. pole (like it hasnt been said enough)
    but pole anyway

  14. This is really deep. Hope you feel better, in the end ,after writing it.

    I actually had been meaning to ask you what you read. I read like ancient stuff- before the common era- you know the classics- but I also have phases where I experiment. Right now it is contemporary UK fiction. And I am liking it... Care to hear some book suggestions?