Monday, March 20, 2006

Man Day Rant

Unedited Version

That will sound more like a Man Day Rant coz it is

The more I avoid alcoindulgence the more it fuatas me!

If I was still watering beds like I did a decade ago, imagine the stench!! wasalalah

So yours truly here is sufferin on man DAY asubuhi becoz she can’t wachana with alco (ya sare or otherwise)

I thought the Armenians were unwanted until jana.

You want the Armenians out, women want more Armenians in.

Waarmenia, spend on average Ksh. 150.000 on food,----------- and their girlfriends!!! Jesus their girlfriends!!!

Why not be a girlfriend and earn Ksh. 20,000 (rumor has it) every day. And they ati don’t ask for strokage copyright at Muts. Where at Armenians,….Junction, Mediterra…(yes that one)

Kenyan brodas are broke broke broke …e….e…..e…..e. yes all of you brothers taking us to mouth watering nyama choma joints mshindweeeeeeeee. Iko Armenian brodas. I hear after Armenians are Nigerian bros yo! Wakenya tafuteni pesa..a.a…a

Iko the sambaza me type. Nisambaze a sok my guy nimpigieko kasimu my guy. Please call me thank you…….and a sister asks “But why thou ask thee to call thou my guy” I love you sisto. Love on my Credit. Mshindweeeee………

But this one “ I am about to shuka sweetie, si you just kuja to the bus stop and hook me up with a finje………” Style up!!

Cheapstakes! Aint no golddigger but aint dealing with a broke nigga yo! Kenyan sistos are saying. Mwache hiyo tambia ya kutoanisha madame. Yes you stop!!!

Real Event
Those of you who know Parklands jua Engen where cool guys hang out
Muthuri: sweetie can I take you out for dinner
Mutumia: ooh yeah
Knowing a lunje broda can be broke fortunately carries her kapurse

After dinner, dude decides huko sijui he has lost cash! Akwende huko you Lunje brother (loser). Lost money wapi? Can we report to the police? Money lost auuuuuiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

All those Kenyan cheapstakes muwache tabia mbaya. Check your money not lost before dinner.

Ati ooh
Mamanzi wa siku hizi are expensive. They want to be taken out sijui every week. Tafuta pesos, rands,dollars, euros, mashilingi.. Women are goddesses you hear me na mshindwe tena! ,. No pain no gain.

Female folk suffering
Where in Kenya
Waarmenia mko wapi???


  1. Yet Another Male-bashing Post [YAMP].

    Sisemi kitu.

  2. LOL too funny!! I noticed in a Kenyan Blog (Samborera I'm not mentioning any names) that kenyan guys are soooo stingy with their money and their phone credit!!Whats the deal? If you want to date a Kenyan princess please stack up your wallet first!This is Yet Another Honest Post (YAHP.)

  3. Samborera, there you are! I am simply saying muwache tabia mbaya. If you want to date a mama with money then tafuta daddymami.

    @Kenyan Gal, it is true, Kenyan bros are too stingy. Haleluya at stack up your wallet first.
    Moral support (ooh Yeah)

  4. Hehehehehe

    Cud that Lunje have been Anon from KM's?

    Different strokes for different folks. There are jamaas willing to spend on mamaz, there are those not willing and there are those not able...

    There are mamaz willing to be spent on and those that are unwilling.

    Should a mismatch between ma-willings, unwillings and unables arise, said mamaz (and Shi) will rant like was done above LOLOL

    Chunga that Armenian jamaa will unleash a doggy on you, imported from Dubai duty-free, barking in the compound ready to unleash itself on the police commissioner Hahahahaha

  5. hahahahha somebody had a bad date!! or impression of one
    I know that I speak for many brodaz out there when I say, we aint that broke "we're saving for the future"

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  7. Only because you unleashed an unedited version and because am a Kenyan guy...ill just begin at the heart of the matter.

    1.Kenyan women need to stop complaining and having dellusions. You need to tembea kidogo before making false and alarming statements.

    2.You need to be more supportive, instead of asking a brother to get money why not help a brother get the money. What happened to all the women who help their men achieve there dreams, but shiro I don’t blame you, it’s all about exposure. It’s not your fault being limited to Nairobi and its environs IT has that effect

    3.Exposure exposure I can’t emphasize that anymore. As for
    "Kenyan brodas are broke broke broke …e….e…..e…..e. yes all of you brothers" Don’t embarrass yourself infact you need to delete this whole post and plead for forgiveness.

    You just need to change the type of guys you are hanging out with, being a lawyer I thought You would nt have a problem being that you are in right circles so for starters stop hanging out with clients and try your peer’s.

    4. As for having money to hang out with a woman who has money.that is so shallow!and Maam having money is a relative thing in some circles you my dear are a broke wannabe.

  8. @Joe - I am with you on a few points (sorry Shi(I love when KM calls you that), but I am not selling out)

    Let me be specific on some points of my own: (and this has nothing to do with you, but the vybe this post is giving)

    (And I am doing a list)

    1. Do not ask to be treated equal when you dont want to act equal
    2. Whether or how a man spends on you does not constitute their worth, or the worth of your relationship
    3. Are you willing to spend on the guy as well - when I last looked, a relationship was a give and take (irrespective of whether it is a friendship or love relationship)
    4. Even as a woman, I have come to realise that women in Kenya rate a man on how much they spend on you, and will bleed him dry for favours (including/especially sexual)
    5. On the exposure issue, yes I am with Joe in the sense that guys in Kenya treat women in Kenya the way women in Kenya treat guys in Kenya. My Point? The men are used to women going out with them for money, and the women are used to going out with men who have money, anything less and its alien territory (that point might be covered in the previous ones, I am taking liberty)
    6. Even as a woman in Kenya, I have been 'used' by women, even ones who are professionals, and used the 'I am taking you out' while meaning we are going out, you are paying. Because I am foreign - I am deemed to have money and no one will fork out their cash because they are in the company of someone from abroad. I actually have a case in point where a lawyer and an estate agent 'bailed' after eating and drinking with their friends on said night out, leaving me with almost a 10k bill - even though it was my 'going back party' and they had begged me to go out with them :( - lucky I had the cash on me
    7. (I love doing points up to ten even when I have nothing to add, bear with me)
    8. Sometimes, someone would love to go out with you even when they have no cash, do you have to have money spent on you to have a good time.
    9. If you want a good time, would you not want to dictate your terms for the time spent, by deciding where you go, what you do, and how much you spent by being the one in charge -trust me its a good feeling.
    10. Just because someone is flash and a 'foreigner' doesnt mean that they are a catch -trust me, you might be the fish instead of the fisher(wo)man - keep that in mind.

    Long comment, sorry, post on itself but I know I may not be making friends here - but those are my two (sorry, £10 points) worth.

  9. I agree with both Joe and Guess. Its totally a 2way street. Am one of those who gets easily bored and tired of men who have no backbone.Agree to everything you say, can never make any decison
    "I'll watch what you want"
    "I'll go if you go".
    "If that's what you want to do"
    Eisch boring!!. Challenge me,lets disagree on something for pete's sake, have a say please.
    Lets go dutch,or I'll treat this time you spot me the next.

  10. Guess well said! if i wasnt intending to marry that church vocalist who sings the solo on sundays. i would be on a plane to england doing some serious investigations ! ama you can sing the solo .lol naaaah this is guess lol but i agreee with all ur points

  11. Joe, thanks for your comment.
    Disclaimer, the events were as told to me by many women on one Sunday evening.
    2.You need to be more supportive, instead of asking a brother to get money why not help a brother get the money. What happened to all the women who help their men achieve there dreams, but shiro I don’t blame you, it’s all about exposure. It’s not your fault being limited to Nairobi and its environs IT has that effect

    You are not my husband, you are asking me out for a date for heavenly sake! Borrow if you have to, dont give me sijui money lost crap.

    Exposure what? If you tell me that a Kenyan asking me to sambaza him all the time i need exposure then i don't want exposure!!

  12. Me, I don care...I just laughed....Tihihi, lakini Shi you can be naaaasty!

  13. Guess, i had no absolute idea that a Kenyan men behave badly like that until i listened to a few Kenyan sisters and i was shocked!

    Treat me equally and i will but do not be a leech. I had a friend whose jamaa was always borrowing her cash.

    Unfortunately to me it does matter how much you are willing to spend on me because how else do you express yourself. If you cannot call me which in itself requires you have money or buy me something , unless i know for real that you don't have cash. Guess i wish you knew how much this brothers spend on the boys.

    On point 6, that is really bad.

  14. noo kai shiro we!!!!!
    ma.. am speechless (make that blogless or postless).....
    all the KBWers have pretty much exhausted all angles.
    what can i say?
    umetuweza??? naaa
    now to draft an appopriate response....
    lets see...........
    i give blogger-block!!

  15. Unleashing the nasty side yeah hit them

  16. @Joe (blush) you are always welcome to England you know - ulterior motives notwithstanding...
    But what do you mean naaaah this is guess - you hurt my feelings :(

    Unfortunately to me it does matter how much you are willing to spend on me because how else do you express yourself.

    That there statement put the women lib a couple of hundred years back.

    but on the same issue, while in Kenya, I will not sambaza anyone or respond to those 'please call me back' text msgs - that is rude

  17. The only things that all Kenyan men have in common are: 1_They are Kenyan. 2_They are men.

    Any other thing anyone says about "Kenyan men" is just a generalization.

  18. Gosh i can hardly breathe on this post.
    Guess,you win, but with just a slight minority.
    @mudskippah, thanks for the reminder. tsk tsk. But remember i said some who i proceeded to give their story.

    Support anyone

  19. Its always women who have never been out of Nairobi(for long periods) who complain about Kenyan men, go to Thika, kisumu ,moyale ,muranga London ,new York ask Kenyan women there they will tell you ,Kenyan men may have shortcomings but we still love them and that’s a fact.

    We all know the economy in Kenya has been taking a beating now expecting kamau to Wine and dine a woman the way Joe does dc ,is well... just shameful and unrealistic .Some Nairobi chicks watch movies and assume the way things are meant to be ,don’t believe the hype that’s just Hollywood.

    Any self respecting independent woman will tell you relationships this days are give and take ,nobody is coming to rescue you ,personally if I can only afford nyama choma at k-mart that’s what you will have. If you don’t like it then its all good, samaki Ni wengi, someone is bound to enjoy my company and vumilia k-mart until I can take her to the Ritz.

    The difference between a sensible woman and one who is not is she is able to recognize potential, while the other is preoccupied with the present

  20. heeee where have I been on an argument this close to my heart!! My two cents... we are talking about dating NOT a marriage or a committed relationship so if a guy asks me out on a date he needs to pay for it, I am not the one that suggested we got out somewhere, HE did. Also its not that I am being a golddigger, Yes, going for dinner at Grand Regency would impress more than Kenchick but I'm definitely more interested in your company and the fact that YOU PAID for the date :) or the fact that YOU CALL me and talk rather than flash me and expect me to call you back.

  21. Joe cmon,he he you sound like you have been asking people to sambaza you.

    I dont think you understood my post. It was about guys who are leeching on women to provide for them. A very bad habit indeed which i will repeat that it is a very bad habit.

    On the other hand, the same guys is busy entertaining the boys or whatever amorphous group men hang around.

    Either way to tell you the truth i spend quite a lot of my time and money on a guy i like. That is because they take the initiative to show me i am worth.

    Kindly note this post is not about me or you. It is about men yes the ones i have talked about.

    If you ask any man around me ( my friends ) i do treat them to lunch. I dont expect a man to fork out money all the time;when i ask you for a date it simply means i am prepared to pay. So when you ask me for a date, be prepared to pay too. Is that asking for too much?

  22. shiro thank you for the clarification and by no means were my comments directed straight at you (if you dont fit into the category ). i also understand the need for guys to step up their game regardless of the situation, you dont have to have money to make a woman feel Appreciated and loved.

    As for me sambazaring(kenyan lingo has really changed) dont be fooled by the politeness. T-Mobile doesnt deal in scratch cards i get a monthly statement .

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  24. Hheheh this got me laughing, eti i pelekea a bratha a fifte on the bus stop ala???

  25. hi y'all, i agree with joe and namesake(shiro) kenyan women really need to stand and have a sort of a back bone.I am so sure that the jamaas would looove to go out with a chikidee who also takes care of the bill/s..once in a while.BUT i guess that is my 1 cents..amaa niaje!

  26. ala, ala! i come to the " party" this late? goodness, where have i been?
    i think there is a tendency of some men to either over spend on whomever they are dating or to spend nothing at all. i am of the opinion that if you feel the need to either buy/leech of someone you are totally useless.
    i do feel guess on the thing that ati people from abroad have money to burn. when i was at home i constantly had to spell out "struggling student" over and over again to people who wanted me to "please call them"/sambaza them/pick up the tab. that was one post that was fun to read.

  27. haya now i got some opinion on this...
    from a political viewpoint, kenyan men ni kama narc(read kibaki) they will spend on their golfing buddies and discard the crumbs to their mamasitas(rest of kenyans).
    kenyan women are like odm (read raila). they will cause tantrums and cry wolf ati they have been shortchanged.\

    enough with the siasa, somehow i give a political angle to everything!!!

    but realistically, times have changed and probably the lady has more money than the jamaa.
    saa ingine sio kupenda kwao, i may be the jamaa who rocks your world lakini am dead broke!!! does that mean you cant hook me up with a g!!
    what happened to blind love?? in no way teteaing some jamaas who are as stingy as hell!! wacha even paying for a date, they will always hover around others in pubs and clubs in the hope of landing freebies!! hawa washidwe.

  28. LOL @ Kritik. Ati blind love? You want to live on love and fresh air??

  29. My dear!You do not want to mess with Armenians!!!!Those are the harshed men ever they will give you what you want lakini you try to hepa!They will kill you!You think I am joking but I have heard those storos!btw:They also demand strokes and not kawa missionary position kind but some real freaky tales.That is why they like black women coz they think ya'll are freaky.
    With the mboff econ I dont expect Kenyan dudes to be balling but even though, that in no way excuses misbehaviour at all!
    On the other hand I think that Kenyan mamas have acquired a firm taste for cash and the good life even if they cant afford if for themselves they will look for a man to get it for them.I have met too many Kenyan chics with that mind set even here where making money is not as hard as home.My pals back home are complaining about the increasing materialistic nature of Kenyan mamas there too.I think as I get succesful I am going to have to change my flava, this storo of being seen as a ticket to the good life kwanza does not shika at all!Anyway let me keep quiet lest I say too much!

  30. @Poi,that i heard with a friend of mine.
    @KGal, of course munching dinner at Grand feels like a plot than Kenchic. Though if a guy can only seriously only afford Kenchic i will not dismiss him on that note.
    @anon aka namesake, yeah picking the tab once in a while is a plot but not always you know.
    @ Spicey, you know what they say about bears hehe joking lakini. Guys think huko past JKIA, you are rich person. Wrong mentality.Dont pick anyones tab.
    @kritik, i am having a hard time understanding connecting me to ODM, anyone that is ok. Broke till wealth do us apart ha ha ha
    @Ms K, i was also wondering the same. We cannot feed on love. Love grows anyway. You really have a choice on who you date.
    @acolyte, i know i know but i wont let you even get started. Materialistic nature, God but most mamaz not only Kenyans love a good life. Who wouldnt; besides rearing your children i couldnt mind a nice life or would i?

  31. He he he!! Hilarious post and some comments are out of this world...


  32. @ shiroh
    You are making the same mistake that many chics make!You are pricing yourself out of the market!In poker, this is known has having "overplayed one's hand." Having read too many magazines and watched too many movies,many women have proceeded confident in the fact that no matter how avaricious they got, men would still want them and pursue them and keep on trying to live up to their ever-escalating demands.Women have simply priced themselves out of the market, and instead of waking up to this fact have simply escalated the intensity of the delusions - thus hastening the process.That is why the number of marriages has been reducing as opposed to increasing due to the increased financial empowerment of women in Kenya.Guys who have never become addicted to shag find it much easier to adjust to a life without it than those who at one point in their lives believed that half or more of everything they could ever earn was a fair trade for a short term(dating) or lifetime supply (marriage) of shag - even if it was scarce, at least they got some once in a while.Besides with the laxity of morals it is much easier to get laid nowadays then before.Men are not specialized beast of burden born and bred for the specific purpose of dragging around a financially dependent women and girlfriends all in the aim of giving them the "good life."
    Dont forget that in your pursuit of the good life that the men who can provide it are few in number and they too have demands.They often prefer young attractive women who will bend to most of their desires and needs.
    So do you want to be a rich Armenian's toy (whom he will toss for the next yellow yellow chic who comes) or the wife of a Kenyan who is working his way up the ladder and will respect and cherish you for it?There is nothing wrong with wanting the good life but when that is all you see a man is good for....
    ps:I am going to slap the next person who says things like "when I ask a guy out I pay the tab."These are usually the ppl who take guys out during solar eclipses.

  33. "It is not hard to be a pimp" It is hard to be a true law abiding Kenyan brother -ask Githongo

  34. wah!
    Alot has happened while i was away...
    Shiro "Pay my bills iliisha fashion!"



  35. LOL at Aco and ppl being taken out during eclipses LOLOLOL

  36. Its high time the mamaz stop beating the cash vibe with jamaaz. 1. You now have the cash (can't tell you the kinda chickas i get to interact with on a daily basis.)
    2. Like the comments above, its high time YOU start taking us out, bila all the noise. Its a date for goodness sake, not compe for who can take who where.
    3. What if i like the great outdoors? where most things are free: like a walk? Would that qualify as cheap? Time is money? i digress.

    I agree that if you ask a lady out You should pay the bill.
    BTW: All: Get to see the "Utachonga Viazi" video. There!

  37. @ sammie
    I thot you knew by now that Kenyan mamas only take equality when it suits them.Your money is our money but their money is theirs.What I am amazed about is the way Kenyan mamas equate white skin with money, you should know what jungu men say about Kenyan chics; wacha I post on that soon.I like the way reality hits them when they get here.LOL!

  38. lol. this post has made me cheka like a nonsense. if i had time, i would adress this issue in entirety.

  39. No kai Shiro wee ... Kritik could not have put it better!

    I dig the post, no doubt ... and I'm sure I don't stand alone.


  40. lol! Woiyee. Kenya dudes are only broke because they're saving up to pay the bride price your dad demanded for your hand in marriage.

    Cut our dudes some slack!