Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Things that could possibly turn off any woman

In bed……………

In the usual style of G.I.M. (Girl in the Meadow) which I am sure by now are accustomed to, anything goes. She has been avoiding controversy and men baying for her blood since the post that declared Kenyan men cheap and the Artur fiasco of the gold (en) brothers, she is back with a not so bad one, just a few tips. Don’t take it personal please!

Shiroh had edged out G.I.M. It’s her time back?!

This post earned G.I.M many names gold digger just being one, Milo and Nick insisting I buy them lunch to prove that I never meant girls should not foot the bill (Which I did at a Nrb West restaurant) and ooh much more. Haiyaiii I was only saying the truth but still…….. I suffered!

Most of what I write here is from my girlfriends experiences as narrated to G.I.M. Resemblances to any characters…….you know how it goes.

Complete Turnoffs

Underwear

There are things we call “Cosi”, I don’t know what it means maybe costume or something. They go by many names but one of the most notorious ones is the COWBOY. For friggin sake, Cowboy? Wearing cowboy is an effective family planning method. One of my sources (yes, I do research!) says it is a complete turnoff. A grown man in Cowboy! What you say?

Boxers, boxers, boxers., Period!

Sweaty armpits

When they said a man should have a natural scent, did they really mean sweaty armpits? I dunno what’s the solution to this but c’mon wash up or do something! Just don’t suffocate her with your sweat. There are sweaty bodies everywhere, in the buses, co-workers and now you!

Your Super Ex-Girlfriend

Every man has this frigging story of the super-Ex bedroom super tactics. You know what brothers, sometimes she fak’d it till she made it. We are like that, it pleases you. Whatever rock n’ roll, up and down acrobatics moves she made is over! If you are not pleased now, say it! Super hints don’t work here. Talking about your super- ex, everyone has a supposed super –lover even if it’s just an imagination doesn’t say anything. If you don’t know this talk tortures the gals. How is it if the chic could tell you about my super ex was such a stud and he did elbow discovery (KM 2006) and much more. And you still haven’t discovered the insides of the thighs as yet?

Leaving the CD

CDs should be on reach. Enough said!

There is a forward email that advises men to leave the CD in the cars or rather that’s the moral of the story. Now that particular situation saved the day. Lakini how serious can a man be to leave the CDs in the wardrobe or somewhere else. Aaiih please. Unless of course it is unexpected but even so…..

Love first not lust fast

This one was inspired by this post by Supaflyshi

http://supaflyshi.blogspot.com/2006/06/mission-impossible-iii-getting-laid.html

Some men are greedy; others are not, most pretend not to be (which is all good).

It is the greedy ones that I am talking about. We spend about 6-7 hours cultivating hunger to eat a meal. And when the meal is finally on the table, we spend another 10 minutes giving thanks. Then finally consumption happens

Now there are some men (obviously they don’t blog), who like going for the meal first. They don’t want to cut the carrots, the kitunguu, fry the mafuta, and agonizingly wait for it to be cooked. They want the food immediately!!! Washindwe hao!

Obviously the hunter has to move slowly only pouncing on the victim when it’s quite unaware of the danger.

Anything else spoils the broth. Patience!!!!

Now over to the men, say IT! Just the way it is. I wish I was on both sides of the divide but I am not!!! Yeah I am as straight as the Babylon Tower.

(Peace out) What?


Side Bar


It has become hard to track down posts on KBW Aggregator for most of us who do not have internet access at home because the aggregator can only handle 50 posts at once. For this reason; new and not so new bloggers may want to register with Nchi yetu Daily and Keep blogging ya'll

16 comments:

  1. I totally support you gal kitunguu nyanya pilipili hoho lazima zikatwekatwe halafu zikarangwe. The storos of Speed boat zishindwe kwani maji ya bahari inapotea..
    Lemi go in hiding the KBW men are coming but will hold a club incase they try to unleash.

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  2. It would not hurt to have the oral cavity spic and span for the ocassion.

    To quote the now notorious morning duo MK squared, shamba lazima ilimwe but pole pole nanii it is a marathon not the 100m dash!

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  3. aala! kumbe there are many who share these sentiments!

    "love first not lust fast"

    i think some men haven't understood the true reasons the concorde was cancelled. we all need to enjoy the ride, not arrive at lightning speed!

    smelly armpits! Eish!!!

    the aggregater, you are very diplomatic..methinks it's been taken over by one hyper-active blogger from outer-space. note: this is not a complaint people just an observation...peace!

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  4. @Nakeel,sema. Ni mpaka dishi to be prepared ama?
    I hope they don't come after me..

    @prousette,how are you? Ooh where did i leave that one? oral cavity; brush brush!!
    Obviously the MK's must be the most famous peoples around now with their discussions. aaaiiitch

    @ak,been good i hope. hey you dont want the lustful one. LMAO at concorde cancelled!!!

    I have realized there are people posting paragraphs every 5 minutes as someone might say. It is not amusing. You end up missing all the important posts! Then bloggers think you are lengain they are blog. And here in blogland is scratch my back, and i will scratch yours!!!!

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  5. actually the rapid action ensures that the little male friend gets as much frenzied affection as he desires ... sad that the feeling is not mutual so a compromise will always have to do

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  6. ha ha Shiroh... hilarity galore!

    There was a time I mentioned to my pals that dudes also need to shave their armpits. You know... to get rid of that sweaty odour... they looked at me like I was crazy. I stand by my words. If you have hairy armpits... do something about it.......

    As for the preparation before the consumption... I cosign 100%

    Let me look into this Nchi Yetu Daily business

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  7. That hyber blogger almost made me miss this post!
    As you can see 1/3 of kbw is at room thinker and African Bullets and Honey going on about the tribalism debate with accusations being thrown left right and centre.
    Another third is at some pro-TZ blog tearing me too shreds so that leads the rest of us going up and down.
    Anyway onto other things. I can recall happily telling you to Armenia coz of one of those posts.Ah the good old days!
    First of all I go agree that boxers and briefs are lazima. But chics should also know that mother's union ngothas can't cut it!
    Reading my blog you do know I feel the same thing about B.O!
    I agree that ex must remain ex!
    The rubber must meet the road!'nuff said!
    I do agree that some peeps are bila shame and rukia dishi before maombi and eating appetisers.
    ps:Women aren't the only ones who fake...

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  8. You can aslo use an online agregator like NewsHutch to track the KBW feed.

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  9. You hit the nail on the head with this post..seriously!!

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  10. @mdkims, Got it now. LMAO @rapid action

    @movie buff,guys won't shave their armpits (ok some); i hope they do something about it!
    Have put the proper link to NYD, it works better

    @Aco, glad you agree with me today. That post you guys raruad me on bwana!! I guess the trivial blogger will have to be told or warned appropriately!! I was over at M's and continued with the mad debate.
    Aco tell me more that women are not the ones who fake! Waiting, waiting.

    @69, saw that will be there. I have signed up

    @Princess, thanks.

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  11. What can i say? Nothing, juz wondering abt ur research...shuld i say i doubt ur research? lemmie me not say...
    Anyway, i totally agree with u with some things.

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  12. BAsics, for both
    yes prou, the oral cavity MUST be cleaned.
    Armits must be shaved, and yes the cologne/perfume/deo/rexona does play a role in the preparation esp if used sparingly dont you drown us
    take your time, literally.
    Others:-
    i dont care about your ex who could hang from the chandelier
    in these day and age prophylatics lazima.
    digressing: dont get offended if i tell you where to go trust me i know though you are welcome to explore.

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  13. I'm with you on the sweaty, smelly, hairy armpits. Thankfully, I've never had to deal with it firsthand. There's no excuse for bad breath unless you've just woken up. Some basic hygiene does the trick. Boxers all the way! The Super-ex is someone we don't want to hear about.

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  14. AAAH....what can I say??Manze si wasee wote!!

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  15. You Got it gal!!Especially the smelly armpits whoever got that idea dat bushy ones are the in thing iin their heads??
    Kip hittin..Gal! bt it's true da losers dont blog!!!
    U made my day..

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  16. Great post Shiroh! Hilarious too. In addition to your list, I have to say FEET. They have to be in good condition guys. Yaani simple maintenance like trimming toe-nails and just keeping them clean. Little things make a huge difference to your overall sex appeal! Nothing worse than a hot guy with dodgy feet. Major turn-off. Jeez!

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