Monday, October 16, 2006

How to the Kenyan Way.........Part II

How to the Kenyan way ………….Part II


One day I was feeling quite patriotic (like I do most of the times when I am not in a goddamn jam for 2 hours!!! ) so there is a shop just next to Rock Collection at 20th Century. For those who don’t know Rock collection is the duka you go to when you have a date at 20th and zoob at all those clothes at amazing prices. Talk to the shop attendant and promise to “come back soon”. When you are zoobing at 20th you have the option of

Going to that jewellery shop and asking the price of every gold ring, silver rings, bracelets et al to the mhindi bargain as hard as you can then leave as soon as you see your date. Also promising to come back soon.

There is a cyber café on the corner that charges 80 cents for non members and 50 cents for members. Eiish this members thing. But for some of us who the www is like home window shopping is the alternative. Once I get into a cyber, you might have to wait for an hour.

I digress

Now just next to Rock collection, there is a shop (whose name I forget) that sells Kenyan Music CDs. So I go ready to buy a Kenyan CD for the first time in my life (what with KISS FM). I am told Jua Kali and that brown haired guy pilipili have both released their album. I think “great!” It is going to be easier than I thought.

So I pick up several Cds, unfortunately most of their songs have already been over played by KISS. I get a bad feeling and leave without buying any. I might just go back there for the Kevin Wyre one. But I was very disappointed.

What I am saying is “the only way to sell your music, is NOT GIVE it to KISS. Or, give them just one single or release your album simultaneous to the releasing the single to KISS.

I do not care for the damn Excuses. I don’t care really!!!!! Just get the album ready in time, stop being Lazy!

Thinking of it, can any good Kenyan tell me where the hell I can get Acolyte a Jua- Cali T-shirt? I thought it was easy business until I started looking for one.

How to break Up a Great Kenyan Music Crew






These three kids disappointed me in no way any other group did. Whatever differences you cited, you are still wrong. Great Opportunity=Wrong people. That is the way I see it.

Unnecessary Noise

We loved you but you still broke up. How many artistes make it to the front of the newspapers? But you did, it wasn’t enough I guess.


Is it me or Kenyans are down right a mediocre people sometimes!!!

True Love VS Eve Magazine

TL is a South African magazine literally even their names sell them. What I am saying. TL hits the streets like one week to the next month. As in by end of September, the October issue is on the streets.

Eve is Kenyan owned. The magazines hit the streets one week later. WTF!!!!

I have a choice every month to buy either of the two magazines. Young Eve now and TL. At least for Drum, it is automatic. So your bet is as good as mine.

During the first week, people like me are buying things like magazines and all. By second week we are almost broke, having paid bills et al., we are thinking of surviving the next two weeks. And in their wisdom and I guess lack of tact they release the Eve magazines then?” By then even the salons have their copies and will read it there.

A simple marketing strategy is lost to them, as simple as watching what your business rival is doing and beating them at it!!!!! We have a problem

As if not enough, get Yvonne Wamalwa to do your cover model. Are there no other stories. Kwani that Mike story will be told for how many years? Ingalau the 24 sexiest Kenyans IMHO, however annoying

The Making of Kenyan soaps

I don’t hide my love for Cuandos and co….soaps. I however refuse to watch Wingu la Moto and other Kenyan soaps before and after it. The only Kenyan show that jazz me apart from Vioja and co. is Makutano Junction. It is friggin funny. If you haven’t watched it., get you ass down and do. Evey Thursday on KBC station at 7.35 p.m.

Lets be realistic, Actresses can not look like me and you. The women in Cuandos are off the hook. They look like work of Art. Looks in actresses cannot be overstated, make it up if it doesn’t exist. We cannot have an actress who looks worse than we already look or wearing clothes that look quite out of “the street escapades we engage in after work”.

I don’t think we can over emphasize but to be really an actress, the power to be extra ordinary (look Halle Berry) at whatever lengths should not be ignored.

And i love those dudes in Better days.

How to spoil a good blog

Aka Nick quits bloggin (pun intended).


  1. I just love pilli pilli despite the brown hair. And I stopped listening to kisii FM for the same reason. those SEMA youngsters should never have been put together. Wyre should get over the reaggeaton beat.. Its monotonous and boring. He is more a soulchild kind of guy. But he is one of the best in kenya currently

    Wingu La moto is extremely irritating, their lines are forced and that combining swa and english doesnt gel well. I used to see adverts for makutano junction and think Oh boy, another WLM especially since some of the actors and writers are in both.. But I watched it and its really funny especially the barbers who speak in a jamaican accent.

    That one about the high school kids is also good. I cant remember the name: something high. Its on citizen TV.

    Nice monday morning post.

  2. @h n h, i love pilipili too. Actually i love the lot of Calif records. But lately they have been so dormant, i dont know wassup.

    Wyre has a good voice, no doubt. I love that song for is it me or your ex boyfriend.

    WLM, i cant stand it honestly. M J rocks. That mama Mboga is the bomb.At least they are not pretending to be hype. They are just villagers, something i like about them.

    I dont know which channel is Citizen TV so you might just have to tell me the time it airs.

    By the way are you doing another "I HATE MONDAYS POST" i have a lot of vybe on that one.

    Btw, that book you were asking The diary of a Manhattan call girl, i chekad. I loved it. Almost reading it again. That gossip is simply loveable. Call girl gossip. Mmmh.


  3. LOl at Nick aka spidey you pooor thing. I dont listen to Kiss Fm so no loss there and am not very keen on calif records et al music must be coz i cant dance to it LOL must be.
    Now i have to go find "The diary of a Manhattan call girl"

  4. I do agree with you that some albums are over played by radio to death! It seems artistes never learn this lesson at all.Just a few singles is enough to create interest in your cd.
    I do enjoy listening to Jua Cali and Pili Pili's music even though at times it all sounds the same.
    Is that building for 20th still full of clothes stores, cybers and hair dressers?
    SEMA did screw up big time! As you can see solo they are going no where!
    Neccesary Noize say they are on hiatus, but will get back together. LEt's wait and see!
    I do agree that Kenyan publications tend to be a tad bit delayed most of the time, over priced and many really dont last.How can they be doing a story on Yvonne Wamalwa?! That is really an old story!
    As for Kenyan soaps, that relationship tends to be incestous. The same writers, producers and actors most of the time!
    It is sad that Nick quit! Blogging just wont be the same!

  5. kwanza, those mamas of ciondo cia cucu mia look like the ladies who grace porno movies...

    makutano junction is off the hook. great production.

    if you're looking for citizen let your telly auto-search. it's between metro and nation...unless mimi huwa nimelewa nikitune. we are in kenya, those things of numbers don't work. ama naeza kuwa kama fala nikuambie ciizen iko channel 5 kwa TV yangu...

    so that's what my mama does when i tell her we meet at 20th and i come 20 minutes late...and i'm always apologizing. kumbe it's time well spent. tsk!

  6. lol @ modoathii and being a fala and saying citizen iko channel 5 kwa tv yangu.

    hard to realte with the stuff about kiss, me i'm just glad that capital and wakilisha are online.

  7. For Jua Kali stuff you have to go to them - yep, the real Calif in Eastlands. Or time a Calif concert and they might be on sale.

    I think I pulled that Rock Collection once too often - they see me they go on a tea break.

    Don't get me started on Eve - was a keen reader. Now they are stacked in the loo - i read back issues as i do my bizna.

    I abandoned telly way way way back. (Though you must admit we have come a long way from the days of that standard line directed at akina Chapuo and Mkhangula, "Nilikubeba tumboni mwangu miezi tisa!")

    PS: Reading Diary of a Manhattan Call Gal - Uuuuuuuuh!! Delicious. Got the next one as well - Diary of a Married Manhattan Call Gal.

  8. @Gish, yeah Nick is been threatening to quit for longs then he actually did it. Poor thing.
    KISS is everywhere, even when you dont want to listen you know. Calif, their lyrics are sometimes lewd and interesting

    @Aco, all of the singles are overplayed. SEMA screwed up,no doubt.
    @modoathii, You are so funny. Yeah that 20th building has more cybers now. I guess thats why people meet there. At least there is someting to see.
    With NN, lets see if they come back. Most crews break up to start solo then break up absolutely. Wyre complements Naz no doubt.
    Kenyan soaps i dont waste my time

    @Modoathii,LMAO @ciondo cia cucu mia. but i agree they look like they do porn you know
    Ebu i will go check if its on Chanel 5 tu kwetu. Kuwa fala jo! You cannot lack things to do on 20th belee me.

    @adrian, you wouldnt relate to these stories been out for so long. Nrb is interesting i tell you. Drama never ishas
    @Ichiena, ooh thanks. But now how do i find my way there.
    Lol, at pulling that on Rock Collection. Ok try another one. Was a keen reader of eve too but for their own undoing. I don't even think i was their target reader.
    Obviously we have come along way in telly.But we are still not there.
    Can i borrow Diary of a Married Manhattan Call Gal or where can i get it. That book is hilarious.
    Ps/Jana i was somewhere and i saw some luches and i think i could relate to their story.
    That writer must have been a call girl herself.That stuff she writes

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