Monday, October 16, 2006

How to the Kenyan Way.........Part II

How to the Kenyan way ………….Part II

Music

One day I was feeling quite patriotic (like I do most of the times when I am not in a goddamn jam for 2 hours!!! ) so there is a shop just next to Rock Collection at 20th Century. For those who don’t know Rock collection is the duka you go to when you have a date at 20th and zoob at all those clothes at amazing prices. Talk to the shop attendant and promise to “come back soon”. When you are zoobing at 20th you have the option of

Going to that jewellery shop and asking the price of every gold ring, silver rings, bracelets et al to the mhindi bargain as hard as you can then leave as soon as you see your date. Also promising to come back soon.

There is a cyber café on the corner that charges 80 cents for non members and 50 cents for members. Eiish this members thing. But for some of us who the www is like home window shopping is the alternative. Once I get into a cyber, you might have to wait for an hour.

I digress

Now just next to Rock collection, there is a shop (whose name I forget) that sells Kenyan Music CDs. So I go ready to buy a Kenyan CD for the first time in my life (what with KISS FM). I am told Jua Kali and that brown haired guy pilipili have both released their album. I think “great!” It is going to be easier than I thought.

So I pick up several Cds, unfortunately most of their songs have already been over played by KISS. I get a bad feeling and leave without buying any. I might just go back there for the Kevin Wyre one. But I was very disappointed.

What I am saying is “the only way to sell your music, is NOT GIVE it to KISS. Or, give them just one single or release your album simultaneous to the releasing the single to KISS.

I do not care for the damn Excuses. I don’t care really!!!!! Just get the album ready in time, stop being Lazy!

Thinking of it, can any good Kenyan tell me where the hell I can get Acolyte a Jua- Cali T-shirt? I thought it was easy business until I started looking for one.

How to break Up a Great Kenyan Music Crew

Together

Each

Achieves

More

SEMA

These three kids disappointed me in no way any other group did. Whatever differences you cited, you are still wrong. Great Opportunity=Wrong people. That is the way I see it.

Unnecessary Noise

We loved you but you still broke up. How many artistes make it to the front of the newspapers? But you did, it wasn’t enough I guess.

HOW TO LET A FOREIGN OWNED MAGAZINE DOMINATE A KENYAN MAGAZINE

Is it me or Kenyans are down right a mediocre people sometimes!!!

True Love VS Eve Magazine

TL is a South African magazine literally even their names sell them. What I am saying. TL hits the streets like one week to the next month. As in by end of September, the October issue is on the streets.

Eve is Kenyan owned. The magazines hit the streets one week later. WTF!!!!

I have a choice every month to buy either of the two magazines. Young Eve now and TL. At least for Drum, it is automatic. So your bet is as good as mine.

During the first week, people like me are buying things like magazines and all. By second week we are almost broke, having paid bills et al., we are thinking of surviving the next two weeks. And in their wisdom and I guess lack of tact they release the Eve magazines then?” By then even the salons have their copies and will read it there.

A simple marketing strategy is lost to them, as simple as watching what your business rival is doing and beating them at it!!!!! We have a problem

As if not enough, get Yvonne Wamalwa to do your cover model. Are there no other stories. Kwani that Mike story will be told for how many years? Ingalau the 24 sexiest Kenyans IMHO, however annoying

The Making of Kenyan soaps

I don’t hide my love for Cuandos and co….soaps. I however refuse to watch Wingu la Moto and other Kenyan soaps before and after it. The only Kenyan show that jazz me apart from Vioja and co. is Makutano Junction. It is friggin funny. If you haven’t watched it., get you ass down and do. Evey Thursday on KBC station at 7.35 p.m.

Lets be realistic, Actresses can not look like me and you. The women in Cuandos are off the hook. They look like work of Art. Looks in actresses cannot be overstated, make it up if it doesn’t exist. We cannot have an actress who looks worse than we already look or wearing clothes that look quite out of “the street escapades we engage in after work”.

I don’t think we can over emphasize but to be really an actress, the power to be extra ordinary (look Halle Berry) at whatever lengths should not be ignored.

And i love those dudes in Better days.

How to spoil a good blog

Aka Nick quits bloggin (pun intended).