Thursday, May 25, 2006

OF MEN , SPACE AND MUGIITHI

I read the post of one Acolyte with utter dismay almost utter disgust. Wella if the comments were to go by the dude (original composer) of the article must have had two a lesson to learn.

Ati women choke men’s space. Goodness. I am beside my self in thinking just how many men I have rare space for and who keep choking my space just like mbofuro taken without tea.

Take for example my friend X who has gone to enjoy herself in a party. A guy who has been disturbing her joins them. He wants to shika her hands all the time, when she moves to the dancefloor the guy is futuaring her insisting that she dances with him. AArrgh!!! He cant even dance well hukoz he is squeezing himself to her. Kwani some guys don’t just get it. I don’t wanna dance with you, simple and clear.

Then there is this friend of mine who didn’t used to know that they were going out with someone. Then one day he introduced her as “This is my girlfriend” to say she was beyond words. WTF??? You never introduce someone as your girlfriend unless you have asked her out.

I go to visit a sister of a friend of mine ati cha uzuri. I am beside myself when he says “ I will bring her to visit well” kumbaff. That is the last HE saw me. Kwani cha uzuri means how ati now we are going to visit well like how? With pilauz and dead chicken and cooked wheat in name of chapattis. Ala we usijijazie. Hata kama I hang out with you more than I do with some people he he ngai fafa me visit and well. No…oo…..oo. I don’t even like those things.

I am allergic to stuff like “I would like to meet your mother” ati now you want to bond with my mother. Hakuna. You meet my mother that day. Hiyo siku tu! ama we bump into her in town cha which I will tell her “this was my class mate” End of story. Hakuna my mum knowing ati this daughter of mine is being stroked regardless. No.,.that is too much for her. Leave her in peace. Yes my mother. I digress. This post is about choking.

Then we go to the Mathare headed ones. Ati now this dude I was dating decided Jeans are too much for him. Kwanza the way I love my jeans hata kama they are faded after years of brush washing and not being replaced. Anyway, he proceeds to tell me ati now I should be not going for his dates in jeans ati I vaa skirts. Hehe joke. Now me the daughter of my mother wear skirts because the bloody fool thinks I should. What is more than it? Regardless I told him that it was not possible. Day in day out he would come up with new rules. Kwanza he had a beer belly even my fathers’ is better (washing dirty linen). Anyway not one to keep up with rules we broke up. Yeah miss him (wiping tutears). Blah blah blah. Now what do you call choking.

Another fool is one who would tell my pal “I don’t like your friends” kwanza that one. Either she goes or I go. Of course my pal stupid and all (still love you) threw out her friends. Kumbaff!! My pals are none of your business. If its they go, you go with them. Hakuna ati what. Manze some of my pals date huko when I was flat chested little thing, with forced mosodo you know that one you struggle to shika at the centre of your head with strands falling from all over, when I could be confused for a kajamaa. Now that I am a grown woman; a friend of mine calls “ Nyako kokarable (shikable)” you think they are of ill behaviour. Ati they are influencing her. To do what? Kwanza the guy is kamatain aka adult behaviours aka fornication aka behaviours leading to hell aka Mtachomeka!!! My friends or you? My friends; end of story.

Some dudes want their mamas to look the way they want, to dress how they want and to even speak the right way. And now they are being choked!!!!

You know something; if you don’t like something it kinda chokes you IMHO.

Kesho Is Mugiithi Nyte. Yaay!! Ubaya all my friends (most) are so urbanized I don’t think they would go for Mugiithi. If I get company is me of to Carnivore to shake to Mwomboko (the most romantic dance in the world) . Yeah Nicholas the Kikuyu sms of mine you replied with you cant read Kikuyu in Kikuyu ati Mr. Thang.

It reminds me of a conversation I was having with my friend over the weekend. She declared that me and her boyfriend are growing shady coz apparently we think Luo music is cool ( my it is ). And kwanza I even know the latest Kikuyu song; I don’t even listen to Kikuyu stations but I know it. It goes like this

Kariki wonire
(kwani what is it that you saw)
Ukiura utuku
(you ran away at night
….
Twarire ngima
(we ate Ugali)
tukinyua ucuru)
(we drank porridge)
tugikira kasette
(we put on a cassette)
Tuigue Music
We listen to Music
Ngira mami
( I told my mother)
Ndakanjukirie kiroko)
Not to wake me in the morning
Ndina mugeni
I have a visitor.

Anyway the dude goes on to sing that after he left the mothers house the chic was gone and proceeds to wonder why the girl ran away at night after eating Ugali and porridge. I think she saw POVERTY. Just like that.

Yeah, is it being shady to appreciate who you are and where you come from and your culture? I wonder if that Mzungu hukoz struggles to dance to Mwomboko. Ama I missed something. C’mon!!!

And I have checked to Keguros and his Irimu (giants) stories . Me thinks one day someone from Holly wood after they have exhausted their movie themes might just pop in and do a movie on giants. I think It would be interesting after Nolly wood and witchcraft themes. Handsome man turns giant………..

19 comments:

  1. First here. YAAAAAYY!!!|

    Wewe! you have gone and lost it, but you raise some very valid points(poyos) there...

    Ati tomoro is mugiithi night? I am so going!!!
    Tebu I spread goss to the chanas....

    ma I will ride on that train wewe! kwanja after I sandwich myself between two yummy men, uka nake mani!
    I will be in heaven borako they are not rubbing their dangly bits all on me....tihi, tutashikana mabega sisi wote kama watoto wa Yesu! aiiiiii

    Wacha I go tell kina my gals and kina my boys.....see you there shi. Umelipwa you hook me up with a dawa? tehe! If you spot me first, I will buy you 1 calabash of Muratina......for sheezy! If I see you first, you will hook me up with a double black Johnnie walker on the mawes....I know, I do not give you a fair deal, but....aiiii, kwani si you are the lawyer? eh?

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  2. I lose it mara mingi. Lakini si its true.

    Ati you see me, muratina, i see you Johnnie Walker. Haki ya Ngai. Wooi am so finished. Ati now coz you know my eyes dont see beyond myself he he he! Reinforcement. Anyone?

    Kwanza its sponsored by Safaricom.

    Aki KM ati Ukanake

    I hate word verification but for spammers shame on you.

    ati bbbkaot

    and then?

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  3. he he he ati forced mosodo and falt chested LOL. Anyway for me any man who tries to set rules for me that gives me leeway to misperfom just to piss him off thats whenyou wear that micro micro mini and a trench coat and when you get to Carni and remove the coat at the parking he wants to die yeah bite me. i have learnt though that men treat you how you allow them to if you stand your ground thenthey respect that and do make compromises where reasonable.

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  4. Maybe it is old age catching up with me or something but I have discovered some arican gems in music some in languages I do not understand but has me nodding my head in appreciation.
    I did not know it is shao to do a mugithi what with the cultural nights all over the place.

    I had to gag several times on the space issue as it seems no discussion could go on without the air getting colored shades of the rainbow.
    I remember dating someone who thought it cool to call me every three hours in the day without fail. Can you spell space...? and how do you even start telling a grown up to dress in a certain way because they are with you kwani when you met them you were blindfolded?
    That is not a man only problem in women it is labeled clingy, like it makes any difference.

    hebu I throw myself out.

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  5. The male chauvinist in me is the one blogging today.

    How much space is space? Space is a balance.

    If I ignore your clothes and you wear whateva you want without my caring, I will be accused of... well, not caring about how you look. If I forget about your pals and you go with whoever you want, I will be accused of... well, not caring about your buddies. etc.

    At the end of the day, it comes down to a simple thing - and that is the choice of words. If I do not like what you look like in jeans, I should say: "Eh, lakini you looked so hot in the ka-skirt yesterday, I had trouble sitting down because of the pressure growing in my... you know." I betcha hiyo skirt will become uniform. Buddies I don't like are even easier to get rid of: "That pal of yours Koi - where does she work? She has nice legs, eh?" That will be the end of Koi.

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  6. He he he SHiroh U dictated an Idi Amin eeeeh ? pot bellied dictator of what Shiroh should wear ? and I bet he expected you to wear a matching kamisi, sindiria and chupi ( with lace ofcourse )

    Im joining in for the mugiithi..and I will be the one with a mosodo and sandaks !
    SEE YOU THERE !

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  7. TRUE STORY!!

    I go to dinner with a quoro... about 30 people. I ride with this dude, he feels he is going to pay for my dinner.... NANI ALISEMA HIVYO. Now, dont get me wrong, I will not say NO to a free meal, but when it is laced with "Im showing my pals this is my woman"... IKAE!

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  8. i am so jealous, ati mugiithi. sigh, even me i want.

    now, this choking by men sometimes crosses over to the pals. my friend and i both have dreads and her boyfriend goes like ati we should weave/chemicalise the nywele because its not appealing to men and unlady like. me i had already started the whole "excuse the f**k out of you" but his friend was wise and took him away. si he met the msichana with dreads? why should it concern him how i appeal to men like him? hmm, some people!

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  9. @Gish, you didnt have those forced mosodos? Some chics do allow themselves to be treated like that coz they dont want to lose the mano, Then they wake up one day and they are dumped. Just like that.

    @Prou, its not growing old. African music especially done in mother tongue is fantabulous!!!
    3 hours in a week yeah but every day, we would have to be in extreme love. I love people who call me but 3 hrs is too much.
    Kwanza it even looks like you didn't feel the kajamaa.

    @KJ, women are like that. YOu do this you are wrong,you don't do it you are right. See telling me how that some piece of clothing doesnt look nice..alright. But don't dictate ati now i come in skirts. Goodness

    @exotic Mugiithi dancer..Loools
    at kamisi,sindiria. bets maybe his mum would never want a woman in a trouser ama something like that. My whole life would suck if i had to wear a skirt coz of some goon.

    @MB,thats one thing that guys don't understand. They bebana with a hundred men in the names of the boys and you are supposed to spending a private thing. Then proceed to talk about Barcelona and balls. And you are supposed to be the mama hukoz sitting pretty and saying nothing. Give me huge breaks.

    @Spicey.,ooh you have to dreads. Now what is unladylike? Ala kanyanga and go look for chemically treated hair wearing women.

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  10. wa wa shiroh............
    heh hapa, u've really chapad a kadude somewhere!
    lakini yenyewe, its no use being someone's trophy..

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  11. lol@KJ's take ... ati "She has nice legs, eh?" ... omg, reverse psychology works every time...

    nice post, Shiroh, how're you doing? As for kyuk songs, I like Mary Githinji's hits ... and the older 70s/80s tunes

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  12. ROTFLMAO shiro u just threw it..
    Kamjings what u tetearing here .
    Ati u come with turules pole sana u will go before I finish the sentence.
    So u taking me for Mugithi

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  13. LOL! @KJ -- Reverse phsychology is the mutha!!

    Which is the most chap chap way for a chap learn kyuk? It's an impending necessity ...

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  14. @kritik,si the dude is you right. he he he. The prob with a guy seeing you a trophy, you have to look the way he wants all the time you know.

    @Mama Mia, M fiti sana. Kamujinga yaani has mastered the art. I admit i don't know Mary Githinji.

    @Nakeel, mugithi of course.
    ATi again i threw it..

    @M, Kikuyu is best learnt in the bedroom. We could have introductory courses today at Murats corner in carnivore. is that a hint hint
    @

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  15. uuuuuiiii....kai ukunyuite kii?. Numwaruma arume muno. lakini on some issues you're spot on. i would loce to meet that jama who wanted chicks dress and even talk his way.... hes my hero.... and the one who introduced as.... FG. in plain kimombo, ladies we shall do this again and again!!!!!!!!!!

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  16. Me I penda kyuk music,,,and yeah that song is not new.....

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  17. Did my post upset you?Bwehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Lakini where do ya'll get these interesting dudes?
    As for ethnic music I havent fikad there yet.I am still busy with Samba Mapangala and other oldies!

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  18. Sevens! Sevens! Show me a kindred spirit who will attend sevens without spending all their damn time nowher near the pitch and I will show you a true fan!

    Sevens or burst!!

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  19. @Shiro -- everyone was speaking kyuk -- couldn't get directions to the damn door!!

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