200 post , New Year, yeah and husband crisis

Its January and its been raining the whole day. Something is not right in Kenya.

Anyway Happy New Year my good readers (assuming there is some left with all this long hiatuses). Thank you for reading for the past two years and yes this is my 200th post. So i am glad to still be blogging as a lot of them already bit the dust.

So holiday is over, and some of you are back to work but people not gainfully engaged like yours truly are learning how to be good housekeepers.
I wake up at 9 only to find out everyone else has left and there are dishes piled up in the sink which hitherto i thought washed themselves and realize they are actually mine for the washing!
Thats a story though for another day.

Husband crisis
I just met two girls discussing the husband crisis. On Christmas day, Kenya woke up to a very shocking and yet disturbing news that most girls of marriageable age (25 and over) i suppose would going to their mother's homes for xmas as opposed to their husbands. Haiyaaii now that i will be 25 this year i have actually added to their statistics Ngai fafa,

Maybe someone should actually define what this crisis mean :whither
No men to marry at all
The ones who are available are not yet ready to marry
All the marriageable ones are already married
There are no enough men justifying the 6:1 ratio which could have increased

However my theory is and still will be

1. A lot of our men are in prisons & others have died in the hands of police. Crime in kenya is mainly a preserve of men though i dont say women commit crimes but count those out. Thats if they hadnt married before their confinement or death
2. Brain drain=Men drain: single women are not very eligible for visas unfortunately. Count those men out if they go and marry the women they find elsewhere
3. Infant mortality: so many young boys die in their infancy. Count those out
4. The ever elusive Y chromosome

So now apart from that there is the high expectations posed by our women. They are singing everywhere

I love you for your pink cadillac and no romance without finance.

So for that i recommend immediate banning of mexican, spanish soaps and others like that.

But anywho who is worried. Si we are looking forward to reducing our population, the lesser marriages the lesser the population. No i didnt say that.

New year resolutions

So far i have two

1. Learn to make chapattis
2. Quit that drink

So peace be with you and Keep your noses clean 2007

Happy blogging

Village folktales & other stories

I have travelled to 3 villages over the last 5 days and so i speak with authority.

In the village, darkness falls.

In the village, when it rains, it pours

The jogoos of the village crow at 6 while those of the city crow at 4. Ubaguzi hapo

Anyway i wish i could give you all the tales.

I hope you all had a jolly Merry Xmas, thanks for your kind messages.

So i have realized Ali Makwere and his folks at the traffic department should all be fired.

It seems that the drivers of the matatus have just discovered the meaning of the word "Speed Thrills". I swear only the God can protect our poor souls at their hands.

Well, just to wish a Happy Productive New Year. I will pray for you all.

Happy holidays

Its been a bit friggn long since i blogged. I haven't lost any mojo but yours truly has no connection of any kind even a Safcom one ingalau to blog as i sleep. Anyway as Nyota Ndogo would say "Mambo yanavyokwenda kombo"or something sorta.

I am fabulous, free, brighter and broke!

Obviously not as fu**ed up as a High School teenager who is not only is pregnant but the mother is the chairlady of Mothers Union or the Guild and the father the chairman of Chama cha Wanaume kanisani. I guess thats worse so i am brilliant.

The only thing though is i feel like an empty brain, do they call them derelicts. Like i only respond to
1.There is a bash ats......

2. We be hooking up at ....

3. It coulda been shopping at but refer to bright and broke comment above

And nothing beats a Free December ever!!! Not in Kenya or rather in Nairobi. Wachana with all those clowns wearing some funny santa...kofias at Kenchic to emphasize its Xmas. I so friggin know its Xmas. What?

If i could i could quit every December i could but none the only wiser. Like saving 6 months expenses as Manyara Kirago says every Saturday. If you don't know who that is consult your Saturday nation. Like who doesnt know they should save their 6 months expenses. Look my expenses are all my salary. So like how? No!! i am kidding.

Like Infidelity in Nairobi

I guess it is official. The Nairobian men/women are like the Hollywood Wives & Husbands as described by Jackie Collins. I mean you know she says "show me a married man and i will show you a man whos willy looks everywhere but to the wives"

So there is this buzzted talks, some sort of public investigator stuff. Ingalau private investigator only announces that your ass is being cheated on in private, this one does it on Radio and in the morning. It is not funny hearing a man over 25 years of age saying "Its over" after hearing a chic sayin the boyfy is called "Steve" and the girl saying "ooh Steve is my ex" He he he. Thats the stuff Nairoberry is made of Unfaithful men & Women.

Apart from that i have been told that Shiku of Easy FM is no presenter. And that Sanaipei Tande should concentrate her efforts in singing and leave Radio to the Connoiseurs.

Project Fame
I had thought of writing something like "Negativity for hire, contact Ian Mbugua"

I am still not convinced that Valerie Kimani won the Tusker Project Fame Award. Lemme tell you ati because it was so widely thought that Alvan is gay, he couldn't win it.
So whats the fuckinfriggin problem with some people. So if Alvan is gay, he can sing. He was better that Valerie bite me!

Celtel Vs Safaricom

I remember doing something on this two. This time Celtel does it with 16/= per minute to any network.
If Safaricom is not going to do something, it might as well kiss the words 12 billion goodbye. The fact that it made so much cash has caused so many a bad blood while sucking us to an early poverty grave with its exorbitant charges.

A sprinkle of politics
Like politics in Kenya and maybe else where is preserved for the very worst. If you don't believe me
Ndura Waruinge
Paul Pattni
Are all persons who should be barred from holding any public office whatsoever. Reliable sources say once Mungiki always Mungiki.

Finally

Merry Christmas. Buy me that Pink Cadillac.

Ooh Happy holidays.