Do you know why your business is failing?

I am no intellectual in doing business. Actually i have done very little business. I am a professional. Sometimes professionals do business, most of the times they do not.

But all the same, i will give you a little hint as a customer of businesses as to why your smart business self is not making any money 2 years later. I know you hired that smart business executive to make you smart business plan that convinced the bank manager to give you money but back to basics.

Your sales people.

I have no words for this people..

Picture this, i have gone to buy a phone. I ask the sale rep about the specifications and she(mostly beautiful) tells me she does not know. How now? You actually employ someone to sit in your shop to sell you things that she does not know about. In fact, most of the times, whether i am buying a camera, a bootleg movie, a phone i am always met with a i do not know. Beauty is overrated.

Seriously, stop everything and hire a sales person who actually understands what you sell. Companies like Nokia, Samsung, Safaricom and other serioius companies are always hosting workshops for their products. There are movie previews that are free on the internet. And a sales rep does not know what product they are selling is simply a bad idea.

I went to a fair over the past weekend. You can tell the sales people judge people by the way they look. Just tell them to judge people by their ability to produce money once the item is sold. If you think i cannot afford (sometimes i can't) i will not buy even if i had the money to buy.

So stop concentrating on all your smart business plans, your beatiful accounting graphs and just hire a sales person who can sell.

Somewhat Blondish...Blonde Series 2

I just had to attend the funeral of the Sex and the City. So i decided to fork out Ksh. 100 to a sales girl. Anyway she gave me Sex and the City Season 2A. The stuff they do these days to make sure you pay twice for Season A and Season B.

So i asked said sales girl why she gave me Season 2 A while i asked for Sex and City 2. She pointed at the poster and insisted it was the movie. Hours later i am doing re runs of Season 2.

Maybe the Sex and City 2 was that horrendous? I am yet to find out.

The Kenyan Tweep

Ya'll know the Kenya online movement started with the bloggers, then facebook and now the almighty www.twitter.com

The Kenyan tweep is someone who although on facebook, will repeatedly tweet "facebook is a village">

Will hold out tweeting about Churchill Live until someone does then R/T (retweet) because they must check out if it's cool to like or hate. If someone says bleh then bleh it is. If someone tweets a joke, then it's a joke already! Common though is the Kenyan tweep hates tribal jokes (no pun). i don't think more about the tribal joke apart from the funny part of it. Look here, tribalism is as old as racism and as new as racism. To mean, it is really not going anywhere.

The Kenyan tweep attends the IT focused kind of events. I see things like i hub, TedX and furiously tweet during the event. So if you are not so inclined, skip on this one or you just won't understand:)

The .ke tweep will celebrate if a Kenyan topic is trending on the world timeline. It's almost as having a Kenyan on the elusive Forbes list. Just type #promulgation on twitter.

Nearly most of the world doesn't understand twitter. And for those who do, they remain the so cool that can't be on facebook of course unless twitter is down.