LIFE IS A

Maybe a Bitch! That's what they say.

Either i am growing old or life is growing old. From the crazy days in campo when we would party from 2pm in the aftey to the following morning @ 6 p.m to these days when hacking even 4 hours partying has become so much of a task. Unless of course your name is Methu and you can do days of no sleeping they don call him Methu for nuthin! Or the party has gone OLD!!!

Back in the day all we needed was a pack of cards to play strip poker then we would changa 100/= and buy some serious roco like XXXcane. Then do the ceremony. So boys are funny. These boys played poker on us seriously. No boy ever stripped until one day, the boys couldn't play poker. Then there was this Mwangi yaani i can never forget that dude but i forget the name of the other one. We are all in various stages of undress, and the game is in its final stages. Mwangi and dude X had only a ngotha, yaani if they lost on this particular game the unmentionables would soon be bare.

This game lasted for one hour until Mwangi lost (huh). Have never laughed hard like that! Mwangi was too dark and fatty. Yaani the speed which he removed and wekad back the ngothas. So the gals would always pull the "i am on my p's" if it ever got there but the boys (poor boys).

Playing poker was something you learnt very very fast especially when you knew what was at risk. Once you were in the game there was no getting out. The most you could do is first play kawa poker before you played the strip one.

So what we would do is put on quite some number of socks, ngothas, 4 tops, a jacket yaani by the time you were done guys would go like "where were all those clothes?". Rakini those were good days.

Then it would be spin the bottle! Now this one scared me. I was told to kiss this dude and we were buddies vibaya, that day i lipad the fine. There is no way i was going to kiss a pal of mine, it doesn't work. Lakini if it had been a dude i had designs for, yaani you pretend you don't want then rukia him! And the dares, dare who?

The roco! ngai fafa yaani i have taken that shit!!! Safari cane, Kibao vodka and whatever other canes. The lethal things, what if we lost our eyes (kuona mbee). So my two pals decided to compete on who can swallow the cane faster. So one of them mezas 1/2 of that thing and blacks out for 24 hours. nJesu! i thought he was going to die. We were scared shitless. So when he finally woke up, i remember VIVIDLY the shirt he was wearing he had lost quite some weight. So we told him what cutt that he had just risen up from the dead. Then another day he wore the shirt and i wuz like you can't wear that shirt you know, its not funny. bad days that one.

Nolstagia.

Go fast

i don't if its just me but this year is hard to keep up with. A new month begins and voila its over before you can say 2nd!

this is the year for all kinds of disturbances. how i now wish elections were every 15 years. Who will let people know that we are tired. of half truths, boot licking, mediocrity, violence. How is a person capable of opening their mouths and saying things he knows are impossible?

Of what fabric are these people made of. that one day you show undying love to a brother and the next day you could order his execution. What does democracy ever meant?

Does it mean we cant produce even one honest person. one who will say the truth? It started so early, we have gone beyond. The spoken word does not have any weight any more.

I just can't wait these elections to be over, then we can go on with what we do best.

A need to answer questions

Where is your cell phone...my bag
2 Relationship... in my mind
3 Your hair....Beautiful
4 Work... maybe thats what i might call it
5 Your sister....Well she stole the breast from me so it has been war since then!!! But she is gorgeous!

6 Your favorite things.... nothing in particular but well i am not easy to please
7 Your dream last night...Disturbing
8 Your favorite drink....Vat 69, Martinis
9 Your dream car....X3, X5
10 The room you're in....crowded i am sweating. Its a cyber in town

11 Your shoes... Black, i don't have taste for shoes, i need to hire someone to be buying them for me
12 Your fears....poverty! losing my mental faculty, AIDS,
13 What do you want to be in 10 years.....everywhere
14 Who did you hang out with this weekend.....My boy
15 What are you not good at..... hiding my true feelings. I am kinda too open and sometimes i can be a bully. I can also be explosive! But generally i am quiet

16 Muffins? No thanks
17 Wish-list item..many ooh boy, some man
18 Where you grew up...Kirinyaga, Murang'a, Nairobi

19 The last thing you did...taught some naughty kids
20 What are you wearing...Jeans and a sweater. Its colda here in Nairobi

21 What are you not wearing... jewellery.
22 Your favorite pet...Pets for what. Is my phone a pet?

23 Your computer...Eeh lets call it my father's computer. But it is 500gb and 1248Mb Ram. he he he i love it!
24 Your life...Quiet
25 Your mood...Lovely

26 Missing...someone
27 What are you thinking about....see 26
28 Your dream car.....x5,x3
29 Your Ex.....we can talk
30 Your Favorite Item... do i really do favourites?

31 Your favorite color....see 30 but i don't like green at all
32 Last time you laughed... a few minutes ago. I laugh too much
33 Last time you cried...Forgotten
34 School....i am always in school
35 Love ..Just give me time

V is for Vivid

I vividly remember when i received a call from this dude.

Imagine you are going about your business and are trying to vividly remember all the things that you want to do and someone calls;

"My name is Ngugi from this village". Do you vividly remember me? He he hehe. Thats my mum's village. So i try hard, first of all everyone in mymum's village goes by the name Ngugi or Mwaura. So he says mimi ni Ngugi Wa Mwaura. Do you know just how effn hard that is for me.

So he texts
"When we talked this afternoon, you said you couldn't vividly remember me. Anyway we met in 1999 and had a lengthy chat at your grandpas home"

Gosh that dude has vivid imagination. I not only not vividly remember him I don't at ALL! dUH

Ok i was impressed that i had made some real impression on a dude who had waited for 8 long years (just how long did Jacob wait for Rachel?) and call me. So i didn't answer back rudely. Ok i learnt not to rudely text back after some dude had been flashing twice, thrice and i told him i was going to kill him if he flashed me again. That was vivid imagination. Shiroh cannot even harm a dead fly. Then he wrote and said, i was just trying to help you, i got your wallet! I hadn't even by then realized my wallet was missing. You can just imagine the embarassment and the bribing i had to do.

anyway this is all i wanted to text him and say
In 1999

I was still thinking Maths, Physics, History
I was extremely innocent

What coulda have happened since then
I have met eons of people
Kibaki has become president
There has been 9/11
A White/black Obama making waves in the US
Innocence?
I have finished Uni and spent 2 years out

endless............

How in the endless things could i even remember a random face i met in 1999? True product of Vivid imagination