Monday, May 18, 2009

QUARTER LIFE CRISIS



You know it, you have been through it. That time that you are between 25 years and 30 years of age. I am in the middle. Not young enough to be called a girl; not old enough to be called a woman.

Things start to happen;

You wanna cut your hair. I have been raising my hair for 12 odd years now. It has cost me a lot. I am suddenly tired of the dryer, the chemicals, the burning. I can't also do the horse hair.  

But you still can't cut your hair. Because your insecurities remind you of the many times other kids called your head a bus. A little exaggeration, right there.

Your career (sorry your job) start to look dim, you toy with the idea of being an actress or married to a mogul and never having to work for another day. Basically you know; money is the best option.

I can't lie; I am becoming impatient with my job. The idea of quitting is becoming real by the day. Of course the insecure bird says, it's the recession boss.  The idea of hustling for your own medical insurance, another job, business failure, brokenness makes you survive another day, week, month, and year.

Can anybody live with me? To rephrase, can I live with anybody?

My mother accidentally made a reference to me being married. I ignored. When watching the Wedding show (very involuntarily) my cousin asked when I would be getting married. I occasionally get bitchy so I ask her, when you are getting married yourself. She said you are the older one (gr). I ignore. What? Don't get me wrong, I think getting married is fantastic when you finally get the person you wanna get married to and it sounds fine to you and your heart. I am just not there.  No hints, subtle or loud.

Illusion

My dream is to fly over the rainbow so high.

Passive aggressive

I am those kind of people who are passive aggressive. That, neuroscientists think is a disorder. It is not. It is a character trait. You are not aggressive and you are not passive. One day you have an outburst and everyone is worried. I take a lot of crap. Then one day I am explosive. What's the deal with that? Or rather I am tired of these psychologists or whatever it is they are, thinking there is something wrong with the non-conforming. To borrow from Milo (he is back!) he is the genius who refuses to be tamed. He borrowed it from KM.

Big bang theory and the intellectual

I don't know (illusion perhaps), I get myself laughing at geek jokes. I totally adore the geeky types, on Television. So what is the problem, geeks in real life are not interesting and so….

 

The bad boys

In my real life, I don't like the intellectual types. Not surprisingly, I enjoy the non intellectuals or intellectuals who don't wanna act it (especially those). I love people who can jump and down in a club. I am totally intrigued by bad boys. I want to know, how do you look at your wife in the eye and tell her you have been working while you slept in a hotel room somewhere with some other woman. Why? And they lie a lot too.

I am still marrying the geek (lol). Just don't make me read comics.

I stop making sense

See the last two.

Help! I can't fill my tax returns

There is something about seeing how much tax you paid to the Government could have changed your life. You gave them anyway. I feel robbed every day I don't have water or electricity. Again, is Migingo available to take the human misfits there? I am sure the snakes and snails would have a field day.

The little house on the Prairie, two children, no husband

I occasionally have the thought of living on the singlesville forever. Then I remember the creaking back, the menopause, the disappearing hairline and the folding skin. Those are misfortunes you would like to share with someone. Sorry but I am not too optimistic about the marriage things, I need counseling. Ooh blame my folks for not holding it together! It has nothing to do with law school as many misinformed people may like to imagine.

Big words

Can you believe I used the word ravenous in a conversation once?

I know the good people of the blogsphere will wonder what is complicated about that. Let me let you in a secret. It is uppity in Nairobi to use such words when you could use a non-complicated word. Trust me, I was given the look..ooh so you know a little English.

Another day I sat with other people that scored over 500 marks in KCPE and boasted of the good old days. What it was like appearing on the top 10 in the district. Someni vijana days are over. Real life is hard. It takes more of the brawn to make it. I mean like ass licking, saying yes sir when all you want to do is say F-U, and then you remember the recession. Look at Beyonce'.

Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse

Why do I like these two artistes? They are train wrecks. Seriously Amy makes great music, Britney makes great shows. They are to me, the epitome of self destruction.