It's one thing to experience loss, it's another thing to move on and it's another thing to realize you are all on your own. I am a bit hesitant to ask for help from anybody and sometimes including my folks. This is not because i am too proud to but it's purely because i don't want to deal with the eventuality of being lied to. While i may not be in somebody's budget stymes earning power of a person makes it too obvious to assume how low they view you in their lives.
Certainly now things are not looking too good for me. I am in a state of affairs that require a financier i.e. to say purely for money. Strong as i have always been in the thick of things strength can be lost in the way. I am not in some cc debt or something like that but basic survival people and i mean it. It saddens me further to realize that i basically have no friends, that your friends are important when you are having fun and it ends there.
And since the realization is so sad it has to take me quite some few days to get over it.
Fast forward to the future. There are people who will celebrate with you and any signs of sickness will be treated with utmost urgency, flowers will flow from all quarters i.e. if and when one is successful. Why are people so superficial?