Monday, May 18, 2009

QUARTER LIFE CRISIS



You know it, you have been through it. That time that you are between 25 years and 30 years of age. I am in the middle. Not young enough to be called a girl; not old enough to be called a woman.

Things start to happen;

You wanna cut your hair. I have been raising my hair for 12 odd years now. It has cost me a lot. I am suddenly tired of the dryer, the chemicals, the burning. I can't also do the horse hair.  

But you still can't cut your hair. Because your insecurities remind you of the many times other kids called your head a bus. A little exaggeration, right there.

Your career (sorry your job) start to look dim, you toy with the idea of being an actress or married to a mogul and never having to work for another day. Basically you know; money is the best option.

I can't lie; I am becoming impatient with my job. The idea of quitting is becoming real by the day. Of course the insecure bird says, it's the recession boss.  The idea of hustling for your own medical insurance, another job, business failure, brokenness makes you survive another day, week, month, and year.

Can anybody live with me? To rephrase, can I live with anybody?

My mother accidentally made a reference to me being married. I ignored. When watching the Wedding show (very involuntarily) my cousin asked when I would be getting married. I occasionally get bitchy so I ask her, when you are getting married yourself. She said you are the older one (gr). I ignore. What? Don't get me wrong, I think getting married is fantastic when you finally get the person you wanna get married to and it sounds fine to you and your heart. I am just not there.  No hints, subtle or loud.

Illusion

My dream is to fly over the rainbow so high.

Passive aggressive

I am those kind of people who are passive aggressive. That, neuroscientists think is a disorder. It is not. It is a character trait. You are not aggressive and you are not passive. One day you have an outburst and everyone is worried. I take a lot of crap. Then one day I am explosive. What's the deal with that? Or rather I am tired of these psychologists or whatever it is they are, thinking there is something wrong with the non-conforming. To borrow from Milo (he is back!) he is the genius who refuses to be tamed. He borrowed it from KM.

Big bang theory and the intellectual

I don't know (illusion perhaps), I get myself laughing at geek jokes. I totally adore the geeky types, on Television. So what is the problem, geeks in real life are not interesting and so….

 

The bad boys

In my real life, I don't like the intellectual types. Not surprisingly, I enjoy the non intellectuals or intellectuals who don't wanna act it (especially those). I love people who can jump and down in a club. I am totally intrigued by bad boys. I want to know, how do you look at your wife in the eye and tell her you have been working while you slept in a hotel room somewhere with some other woman. Why? And they lie a lot too.

I am still marrying the geek (lol). Just don't make me read comics.

I stop making sense

See the last two.

Help! I can't fill my tax returns

There is something about seeing how much tax you paid to the Government could have changed your life. You gave them anyway. I feel robbed every day I don't have water or electricity. Again, is Migingo available to take the human misfits there? I am sure the snakes and snails would have a field day.

The little house on the Prairie, two children, no husband

I occasionally have the thought of living on the singlesville forever. Then I remember the creaking back, the menopause, the disappearing hairline and the folding skin. Those are misfortunes you would like to share with someone. Sorry but I am not too optimistic about the marriage things, I need counseling. Ooh blame my folks for not holding it together! It has nothing to do with law school as many misinformed people may like to imagine.

Big words

Can you believe I used the word ravenous in a conversation once?

I know the good people of the blogsphere will wonder what is complicated about that. Let me let you in a secret. It is uppity in Nairobi to use such words when you could use a non-complicated word. Trust me, I was given the look..ooh so you know a little English.

Another day I sat with other people that scored over 500 marks in KCPE and boasted of the good old days. What it was like appearing on the top 10 in the district. Someni vijana days are over. Real life is hard. It takes more of the brawn to make it. I mean like ass licking, saying yes sir when all you want to do is say F-U, and then you remember the recession. Look at Beyonce'.

Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse

Why do I like these two artistes? They are train wrecks. Seriously Amy makes great music, Britney makes great shows. They are to me, the epitome of self destruction.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Mr. TMI weekend



I had the unfortunate experience of having to sit down with two gross grown ass men..do i make any sense? Yes i suspected they were grown by the wrinkles showing that one has aged quite but tragically their minds were as empty as a hollow pipe can be.
 
One was by his stories had grown up in golf and all. For those who know that language, it means their fathers played golf and by association they probably were golf kids..I don't know how you make such statements show up in a conversation. The golf kid, never at any point mentioned what it is that he does in present day living but i gathered from his rather lengthy description of his siblings achievements that he probably is content basking in some yester years glory which learly judging from his jalopy didn't exist any more. I try to figure out how comes my humble attempt to have lunch at a joint known for the scrumptiousness of it's meat, had led my meeting with this golf kid. Everything happens for a reason.
 
Anyway i was in the company of two lasses, some may even call them young depending on which age group one belongs to. You see if you are 70, you may be tempted to call a 60 year old young. I told you folks, there is always someone older. I mean cut the crap about growing old..Our intention was to fill a stomach, but as soon as we got in, we saw a beckoning hand, from one of the lasses' friends. Let me let you in a secret, gals are always looking for the guy to pay the bill so we found ourselves sitting in the company of two not so young men, seeing as we are younger than them, do we call them young?No. One is pingud ya maisha, the other senior bachelor of the United Kenya.
 
The golf kid, is the pingud one. He went into excruciating details of how him and his wife had met. They way he did not love her. They way some chic had aborted his kid. TMI weekend. That he had loved once and would never love again. OMFG, who cares?
 
The golf kid was pompous all without saying why he considered himself better than everyone else. His looks were nothing to write home about. I mean when placed next to Cesc Fabregas, yeah i had to sneak that one into this conversation.. His car was a jalopy. His apparel was not appealing to the eye. Nothing!
 
Anyway there was a breaking point. One of the gals is quite good looking but a bit shorter than the rest of us. So the golf kid goes about telling her "You know if you were a bit tall, you would not hang out with this people and you would be so far". Ok i was spoiling for a fight. WTH, how obnoxious can someone get. You don't know me or the person you are addressing well. Well at that point i zoned out completely and he started pestering me not to be quiet. I didn't have words to say to him. I thought of him like a pig which the muslims won't touch because they consider it unholy. Let's just say shortly we found our way out.Disgusted.
 
Episode Two; Why me Lord?
 
Usually not many people i hang out with especially if they have been introduced to me by some other person know what i do. So i met this guy, very entertaining and who concluded, i wanted him. I don't know how that conclusion came into head. Maybe it is the PIlsner Mfalme that makes even lions cry. Anyway he told me of this chic she used to date in Campus (the same campus i was) but since you always need this information either to pass it on or blog about it, I listened and asked questions. I didn't not even need to pester him about the name, where she works or anything. Information was provided free of charge. FREE. Anyway he told me of the sex positions they enjoyed, how she introduced anal sex, how many times she aborted. What was going on in my head is how many idiots are there in this country?
 
Anyway when people meet you next time and they are smiling coyly at you, always wonder, could you have dated Mr. TMI.
 
 
 
 

Monday, May 04, 2009

I AM HONEST

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Ryp-gIqDQK4/Sf6DV2tHnJI/AAAAAAAAApw/NfOOznQL1BM/s400/honest237e_1.jpg

1You must brag about the award
2You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger
3You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
4Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog.
5List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!

She likes my style of writing and that is why I must do the tagJ

Lets see, honesty is my best policy so here it goes. Honestly I stole some question and style from Our Kid

Tell us about one annoying habit you have.

I like to ask questions. Many. I am never satisfied with just one answer. i like to know everything. I guess that’s what motivated google. That means I google a lot. I google the names of movie characters when the movie is going on, I google everything I think it’s important then of course google what is very unimportant.

Picture this; did you know Madonna and Angelina Jolie fought over a girl? A Chinese girl called Shimizu. google can confirm.

Tell us about your house.

I do not have a house, only a bedroom and I recently bought a fluffy pink blanket. Eew.

Do you love politics?

Yes I do, that is why I don’t watch news anymore because that would mean I would hate politics. Can you imagine a grown ass man complaining about nusu kapeti….

Why do you switch off your phone when you sleep

Because I love to sleep, I love to sleep so much and my ring tone is also annoying. I also have trouble falling asleep if woken up at 3 and then I start blogging in my head. Then waste another whole day trying to catch up on lost sleep.

What makes you happy?

I am always almost trying to keep myself happy. That can mean a lot of things, I avoid sadness. I am also an escapist.

Something embarrassing

Falling on the streets. Nothing beats it while strutting mitumba high heels (sic)

Why are you still blogging (I thought the X generation of blogging is long gone)

Because I have one thousand conversations in my head. Somebody might want to study girlinthemeadow for their campus literature project. I kid you not. I am now writing a study guide.

Is you and your blog persona different

Yes. While I appear to be very opinionated and a bit exciting on my blog, the real me does not have an opinion and yes a bit dull and unexciting.  You cannot read much. Others say I am hard to please. In my blog, one comment can please me quite.

Are you judgmental and if so why?

Yes I am judgmental. About 40minutes, no 5 minutes I figure out much. Do I really want to spend an entire hour with you, do I make an exit plan, do I call for additional company. Sometimes and rarely I am wrong. I especially hate the ones with double lives, that I can clearly see.

Are you independent /fiercely independent/both/dependent

I can be all. But I prefer being independent.. I like to have my own stuff, do whatever I like. My mum quit her job, she was dependent on  a man. I didn’t like what I saw. I prefer to be independent.

Why can’t you still cook chapattis/drive a car

See this was a perfect weekend to learn how to cook chapattis, but going out is more attractive. Damn thank God polygamy is being allowed, I can settle easily to third position with no pressures of making perfect chapattis. I love that polygamy law, how come nobody thought about it earlier.

How are bloggers in their real life like, I heard you have met all of them

Yeah I have met most of the generation X bloggers by choice and design. They are awesome quite unlike normal humanJ. No they are just normal people with jobs, wives, cars blah blah blah. I especially think they are the smartest people, I hang around Not kidding most generation X bloggers are achievers.