Tuesday, November 11, 2008

you would like to punch these people on the back of their head

The slow walker who occupies most of the street
 
Have you ever been like really in a hurry to get to wherever it is is you are going then a guy moves slowly to every side that you are trying to pass through. Ok, maybe i am exagerrating, but the point is, in the Nairobi streets, you walk in a huff like you are going somewhere because even the petty thieves mistake slow walk for being new in town.
 
Exceptions
Newly in love..there is something about love that makes you slow in everything, you talk, move, walk more slowly daydreaming about what he/she said in the morning.
 
You are carrying a very heavy load or rather you are walking slowly because the weight on your shoulders is just too much to bear. That could include you have just been fired, your newly in love partner just walked out on you or rather those things that make life rather depressing. But all the same try to let people pass or you could find a new reason to get yourself off the floor.
 
Ngoto 1-to wake them up
 
The drunkard

Though i believe viceroy solves all gastro intestinal problems (how did i write that?), and Kafai agrees with me, i cannot stand the drunkard. Drunkards piss me off because sometimes they piss on themselves, hit on everyone jointly and severally, talk foul, make the toilet unihabitable with vomits and generally behave badly.
Exceptions
You are paid to entertain. How can you perform in Liddos and be sober?
Everybody is drunk and throwing up! It's a drink and throw up party.
 
Ngoto 5
your Ex
 
Not all your exes should be punched just the one in this scenario
You walk into the club with a guy you are a quarter feeling, then you met the Ex smashed kama kawaida. He starts calling you wifey as he proceeds to touch you and ignoring the date you have come with (looking sideways to see how many people are judging me).
 
Add to the list is this random guy who you know and acts all sloppy in love when you meet in the club **SMH***.
 
Ngoto 10
 
The Thika Road Matatu Driver
Either these guys are fucking geniuses or aboslute retards. Sometimes i actually enjoying watching these guys drive, it's like the speed movie only this time there are real humans in the matatus not movie stars. The reason i think of some ingenuity in there is coz the situations those guys pull bana. All the same they still get punched for exposing us to regular heart beating.
Mental note, if you are a novice on Thika Road, put aside money for dents et al.
 
Ngoto 20